


Ship Wrecked

by Veronicasawyerr



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: F/F, F/M, Heather Chandler kinda has a thing for Veronica too, Heather duke isn't a bitch, Jd's also hot, Lesbian Heather Chandler, Mac and Duke might like each other?, Maybe - Freeform, OOC Veronica, Oops, Toxic Relationships, Veronica's just really hot so, also Kurt and Ram are secretly gay for each other, and jd is jealous, but it's ok cause its a happy ending, but less, but they're also bi so they're both really into Veronica, for most of them, i mean she is but, it gets dark pretty quick, jealous jd, just a bit tho, like VERY into Veronica, like less of a bitch, maybe not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:40:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 43,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24260725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veronicasawyerr/pseuds/Veronicasawyerr
Summary: Veronica Sawyer had never been fond of boats, but when the Heathers say they're going on a cruise, they're going a cruise. The vacation is turned upside down when there's a boat crash; leaving the Heathers, Veronica, two jocks, and one loner boy as the sole survivors. They have a small island, but the food is running low, as well as Veronica's patience. Drama brews, but no one on the island is ready when they find out starving or freezing isn't their biggest threat; and for once, it's also not Jd.This is a no murder AU! The main ship is JDronica, but there may be some other feelings brewing ,':) This fic is an AU, so there will be some OOC, and some changes to the appearances of the characters. This fic is a mix of the movie and the musical universe. I hope you enjoy!
Relationships: Heather Chandler/Heather McNamara, Heather Chandler/Veronica Sawyer, Heather Duke/Heather McNamara, Heather McNamara & Veronica Sawyer, Jason "J. D." Dean/Veronica Sawyer, Kurt Kelly/Veronica Sawyer, Kurt Kelly/Veronica Sawyer/Ram Sweeney, Martha Dunnstock & Veronica Sawyer, Ram Sweeney/Veronica Sawyer
Comments: 88
Kudos: 60





	1. Annoyed

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! Wow, my first ever Heathers fanfic! I am so so excited to be entering this journey with you all! IN this fic, just to make things easier, Heather Chandler will be referred to as Heather, Heather Duke referred to as H, and Heather MacNamara referred to as Mac. I really hope you enjoy, please feel free to leave comments on how I can improve! Thanks for reading, and enjoy!! :)

Veronica Sawyer never liked boats. It's not that she disliked them; she just never saw the appeal of sitting in a cramped, wet space looking out onto an endless sea of nothingness. The Heathers, however, saw this cruise as an opportunity to pick up boys and boss around the staff of the boat. And in true Heather fashion, they had insisted that they're new protege, Veronica Sawyer, accompany them on their adventure of the sea.

Of course, when the Heathers tell you to do something, you do it. So that's how Veronica Sawyer, self-proclaimed homebody, ended up staring outside a smudged window in a cramped cabin with Heather Chandler.

"Veronica, is that really what you're going to wear to dinner tonight? It's our first chance to makes an impression, and you're wearing sweatpants!" Heather fussed, putting down her blush to gaze disapprovingly at her friend. Heather wasn't quite overreacting in this situation, though; Veronica was dressed in an old graduation t-shirt she had earned on her last day of eighth grade, nearly three years ago, with a pair of sweatpants that were at least three sizes too big. In comparison, Heather had on her nicest evening gown, her hair perfectly curled and styled, her red lipstick applied impeccably.

"Put on that silk midnight blue dress we bought at the mall two weeks ago, and I'll do your makeup. We don't have time to curl your hair, so we'll just straighten it. Hurry up, dumbass!" Heather barked, causing Veronica to drop her book and run to her suitcase to retrieve the dress. It wasn't exactly her style, very form-fitting and long, but even Veronica had to admit, the dress looked quite nice. She quickly dressed in their tiny bathroom, barely being able to fit. She quickly ran her straightener through her curly, shoulder-length brown hair. Without her curls, Veronica's hair was quite long and cascaded gently down her back. When she was satisfied with the look, she stepped out of the bathroom to have Heather apply some makeup. "We only have ten minutes, so you'll have to do with only eyes and lips. Kay?" Veronica nodded, and Heather sat her down in the small stool. Veronica just closed her eyes and sat still, like always, as Heather blended tones of brown and tan eyeshadow onto Veronica's lids.

Veronica considered protesting as she saw Heather pull out her liquid eyeliner, but decided against it when she saw Heather's threatening smile. Line lines on each eyelid, ending in a point. Many coats of mascara and ruby red lipstick later, Veronica and Heather slid into their heels and headed for H and Mac's cabin. Veronica's heels were a good inch taller than Heather's, but she still managed to tower over Veronica, as Veronica was only 5'3", and Heather being around 5'7".

They approached the door of the other two and Heather knocked firmly on their door twice, summoning her pose.

"Shall we get going?" H said, spinning in her flowy forest green dress. Mac had a bright smile, matching her light yellow dress and white ballet flats. Mac never needed heels, as she was the tallest of the four, 5'10". The three Heathers strutted in a triangle formation, with Healthy Chandler at the front, as Veronica trailed awkwardly behind. The faint noises of chatter and violin music became less and less distant as the approached the fancy dining area on the deck of the ship.

A waiter came to greet them and showed them their seats at a table. White everything, including the tablecloth and napkins, concerned a clumsy Veronica, but the fear of messing something up for Heather was enough to keep her on track. She looked at her place card, she was seated next to two boys. Great. Kurt Kelly and Jason Dean, the names sounding all too preppy and player-like in Veronica's mind.

Jason was also seated next to Mac, who was seating next to a boy named Ram Sweeney. The pattern went on, with each of the Heathers being seated next to two random boys. Veronica internally groaned as she recognized that Heather would expect her to make conversation with these strangers. The boys arrived in a pact, it seemed. Kurt Kelly flung himself into the chair next to her, with very little manners considering the scale of the restaurant.

He looked Veronica up and down, licking his lips in an extremely creepy way.

"Kurt Kelly" he simply stated, continuing to look Veronica up and down, making her widely uncomfortable.

"Uh, Veronica. Sawyer," she stated, extending her hand for a shake. Instead, Kurt decided to grab it and kiss her knuckles. He looked at Veronica in the eyes, and it took everything in her not to throw up.

"It's a -pleasure-" Kurt said softly, looking at Veronica will all the lust in the world. Deciding that this wasn't worth it, she turned her back to Kurt, looking at Mac for help. However, Mac was too engrossed in a deep conversation with who seemed to be Kurt's carbon copy, except maybe less creepy. In fact, no one at her table seemed to be noticing her predicament, so she had no way out. The chair next to her, where Jason Dean was supposed to be sitting, was left empty. Veronica turned hesitantly back to Kurt, hoping that he was just bad at first impressions.

"So, Kurt, where are you from?" She softly questioned, a strand of her hair softly falling into her face.

"Well, I'm from all over. My dad is like the captain of this entire thing, so I pretty much grew up here. I know all the secret places, I can show you around sometime" Kurt answered eagerly with a grin. Veronica returned the smile, happy that they were having a civilized conversation. "Y'know, all the best places to make out and hook up without any of the crew finding us" he added. And there it was. Veronica's smile fell, as she rolled her eyes and poked at her salad. Her appetite wasn't quite there tonight.

Jason Dean, or Jd, watched this encounter from afar. The girl was intriguing JD as no one had before. She was wearing heels, he'd say around three inches, but she was still quite short. She couldn't be more than 5'3" without them. Her skin was fair and contrasted against her soft dark brown hair. Her eyes were large and wonderous, and Jd felt as though he could stare into them for years. He noticed how skinny she was, looking slightly underweight, but not bony. No, her body and face were gorgeous, and Jd realized how lucky he had gotten to be seated next to her. He was about to approach the table when he noticed the boy on the other side of the girl looking her up and down as if she were meat. Jd immediately stiffened up and stopping in his tracks. He watched as the creepy boy kissed the girl's hand, look her up and down again, and make her practically cringe out of her skin. She looked around for help, and Jd's heart dropped when she stared longingly at his seat. As he continued to walk to save the girl, he noticed her smile at something the boy said.

Maybe he wasn't too bad. Nevermind, her upset expression returned. Jd quickly walked over to interpret this little convo of theirs, placing himself down in his seat and ignoring the other girl next to him. It wasn't that she was ugly, no the other girl was also quite attractive. But something in the back of his mind was telling him that the girl in blue was someone special.

"Hello, I'm Jd," he greeted, smirking slightly at her relieved expression. She was even more beautiful up close, with her large doe eyes and small button nose. Jd was much taller than her, even while sitting, but he scooted back in his chair to make it work. He stuck out his hand for s handshake, and she placed her small hand in his. Woah. It was so dainty and... small. Jd gently shook it, as if he was afraid she would break into a million pieces. But the girl just grinned and shook his hand, greeting him.

"I'm Veronica,". Veronica. Veronica. The names sounded nice in his head. Her voice sounded like a million church bells ringing, and he loved it. Veronica had said two words to Jd, and he was already completely engulfed in her, not sure exactly how to get out.

Veronica let a small smile form onto her lips. She was saved. She was never one for small talk, but this didn't seem like a great setting to ask any deep questions, so she simply asked: "what brings you here?"

He sighed with an amused look on his face. "My dad is the main man in charge of construction. Whenever the engine needs repair, which is like, every other day, my dad is the one to fix it. I've been on this boat since I was 12. Did online school, all that shit, and now I'm stuck at my fifth banquet this year. Tiring, if you ask me. And you?" Veronica giggled slightly and nodded, right about to answer.

"Well, my friends, Heather, Heather, and Heather, kind of made me come. I'm not huge about cruises, but I didn't have too much of a say," Veronica admitted with a sigh. Jd nodded sympathetically, looking at these friends Veronica had mentioned. Three Heathers? Weird. They all seemed to be very attractive popular girls, with loads of makeup and hair in fancy updos.

Veronica must have noticed he was staring at them, for she said "I know, they're who you think they are. Classics. Popular queens of high school. I don't really fit into that category much," she said nonchalantly, looking on her nails. Jd was thinking of something to say to interest her when he heard the voice of the devil.

"Anyway, Veron-ica..." Kurt raised his eyebrows up and down as he said Veronica's name in a strange Hispanic accent. "How about you finish looking at your salad, you say goodbye to your -very- hot friends, and I can go show you my favorite -private- area on the ship". Veronica nervously laughed, and Jd took that as his cue to step in.

"Sorry bud, but I promised Veronica over here that I would show her how the engine works in the ship. She's a huge engineering nerd" Jd lied through his teeth, and satisfaction filled him to the brim as disappointment splattered on Kurt's face.

"Ok, but you're mine tomorrow babe," he said with a smirk. Veronica just sarcastically nodded at him, then thanked Jd with her eyes. He gave her a 'you're welcome' nod, and the rest of the night was filled with light-hearted conversations.

Veronica was so smart. Like, really smart, and Jd would've never guessed that by her looks. She was also funny, and witty, and bold, and everything Jd could imagine. She was... perfect. And the night was perfect. Kurt moved on to flirting with the Heather is green, who he heard her friends call 'H', and Jd got Veronica all to himself, learning as much about her as possible. She was an only child, her favorite color was blue, her favorite food was Dip n Dots (though Jd wasn't sure if that counted as a food). Veronica had another best friend back home named Martha, and a dog named bean. She lived in a small town in Ohio, where you were either filthy rich or just filthy.

Her life was so interesting... and so was she. Jd had never felt this way about anyone before, he just wanted to scoop Veronica up and carry her away to somewhere where he could protect her. Not that she couldn't protect herself... but he just wanted to talk to her and hold her for as long as he could. As the night ended, the Heathers were walked back to their cabins by the boys they sta next to. Jd helped Veronica out of her seat, watching the others leave.

"You know... we don't have to go back to your cabin. I can show you this little nook out on the deck, where you can see all the constellations. How does that sound, Ronnie?" Jd asked, fidgeting with his fingers a bit.

"That sounds great Jd," Veronica responded. Jd led as they walked to higher point on deck, where the glass roof wasn't present. He was right, you could truly see everything from there. "Hey... can I ask you a question?" Jd nervously stumbled, avoiding eye contact with Veronica.

"Shoot," she said with a smile, allowing him to relax and ask away. "You don't really seem to like your friends, and they seem to boss you around a lot... why are you friends with them?" he asked, looking into her dark eyes. She sighed, looking on the moon, his gaze on her never faltering.

"You know how it is, high school. Life. Eat or get eaten, that's the deal with my school. I mean, without the Heathers, I would be eaten alive. At least I have, like, protection when I'm with them. And they aren't that bad when you get to know them. Sure, Heather can be harsh, but Mac can be so sweet, and H is actually really insightful. You just have to get to know them," she answered, a small, sad smile forming on her lips.

Before Jd could respond, Heather walked in on cue.

"Veronica!! Did you really turn down Ram to go blab about nothing with Jesse James, and miss our movie night? Haul ass to our cabin, pronto!" Heather screamed, actually hurting their ears.

"Well, sorry I didn't want to have closet sex with a future high school has been!" Veronica fired back without missing a beat. Jd was impressed, but by the look on Heather's face, she was not. It was evident that no one had told Heather off in a very, very long time. Her shocked expression was almost laughable. "Excuse me? Hurry up, whore, we're going to have a fun talk when we get back," Heather snarled in a dangerous, low tone.

Veronica just turned away from the angered girl, causing her to get even more upset. Heather marched over to where they were sitting and grabbed Veronica's arm. Jd pried her fingers off of Veronica's small arm, earning him a deep glare from the taller girl. "Are you shitting me right now? I will destroy you! You are going to wish you never became a somebody if you don't come with me right the fuck now!" Heather screeched. Heather's screech.

That's what it was.

It was Heather's screech.

That was the last thing the three heard before silence.

Or, the opposite of silence. More like deafening screams that filled their ears to the point where they heard nothing and felt nothing.

Until they felt themselves plunge into an icy cold, water abyss.


	2. Frozen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, chapter two! Big thanks to @FutureFamousAuthor108 for the tips, I hope this chapter is easier to read. 
> 
> Also! There aren't any descriptions of death in this chapter, but there is mention of it. Be careful!

Frozen. From her toes to her fingers, from the hem of her dress to her drenched hair, Veronica Sawyer felt frozen. She wasn't exactly sure why, why she was breathing in cold, salty water, or why she was struggling to not sink deeper and deeper into the pit she seemed to be falling in. Her ears must not have been working, because a deep, horrifying silence was the only thing her ears could process. She felt a rough hand grab her ankle and roughing yank her around. They didn't seem to be helping her get out of her wet grave, what were they doing?

Gasp. Air. Open. Water in her lungs, trying to be eliminated but sticking stubbornly to the sides. More coughing, eyes still closed. Slowly, air replaced the salty poison that was choking Veronica. After what seemed like hours, she was finally breathing again. After a few more hours of time, she opened her eyes to the blinding light above. She wasn't in the water anymore. She was on land. She was safe.

Well, maybe she wasn't safe. "Veronica! You almost drowned! You are so lucky you have me," a smug voice coughed out. Kurt Kelly. Well, at least she was alive, and she supposed she did have him to thank for that. Veronica gazed around her at the chunk of land she and Kurt were sprawled out on. She was laying out on some tall, itchy, grass-like plants. Kurt was sitting on a large rock near her, coughing water out of his lungs. There was a large forest of tropical trees behind them, the vegetation thick and unwelcoming. Survival wasn't the first thing on Veronica's mind, however, when she finally sat up and processed what had just happened.

"Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. The ship!! Kurt, what happened, where is the ship, and where is everyone?!" Veronica practically screamed at the tired boy, waiting for answers. Kurt looked panicked, shrugging his shoulders up and down as he attempted to answer the girl's question.

"I'm not sure... I just remember a crash and my father yelling... then we were in the water. I was trying to swim to the island, when I bumped into you, basically drowning. So I just grabbed your ankle and I kind of just flung you over," Kurt answered, sounding eerily calm, regarding the current situation. Veronica brought a hand to her shoulder, where she felt a sudden burn. Ouch. Blood. She must have gotten hit by something in the crash. Honestly, she was just relieved whatever It was didn't hit her head.

"Kurt... did anyone else make it?" Veronica timidly asked, afraid of what his answer might be. She would never be able to live with herself if the Heathers had died, and she had lived. Well, maybe she wouldn't be too sad if Heather died... but Mac and H were a different story. Kurt made direct eye contact with her for a solid minute, before pointing his finger to Veronica's left. She turned around, and low and behold, there for around 5 bodies scattered on the green land of the island.

Fear flooded through Veronica's veins as she noticed most of the bodies were not moving. She immediately shot up, in the hope of seeing the faces of whoever made it. However, she was instantly pulled back down by an exploding pain in her left leg. She pressed her hand to it and inspected the blood that has smeared upon her fingers. This wasn't good, how was she supposed to survive without being able to walk?

The next best option she could think of was yelling at these bodies. She noticed a few were moving very slightly, a good sign. "Heather?! Heather, Heather, Heather?!!" Veronica yelled as loud as she could, hoping to get the attention of the bodies. She was met with a groan and someone limping weakly towards her. A green dress. H had made it. "H?! H!!" Veronica yelled as H slowly got nearer towards her. As she finally arrived, Veronica was shocked at the sight of her usually perfect friend. Hair askew, makeup smeared now her face, and a large tear in her dress around her knees. 

"Veronica, I need you to come over here. Mac is unconscious, her heads all bloody, and Heather hurt her ankle. She can't walk," H explained, attempting to help Veronica to her feet. 

"I can't walk H, something hit my leg," Veronica said, gesturing towards her wound. H looked concerned and kneeled down to loom at it. As much as she stared at the swelling, bloody mess, she couldn't figure out what to do.

"Um... you!" she yelled at Kurt, awaking him from deep thought. "Come help, we're going to carry Veronica and then see if we can save Heather," H frantically said, motioning for him to come over to them. Kurt quickly jogged over, with a fearful expression that Veronica had never seen before. Before H could help, Kurt picked Veronica up bridal style and started walking towards the group of people far away from them. H followed suit behind, her own injuries weighing her down. 

As the three approached the group of people, Veronica suddenly remembered the boy she was talking to before the whole mess. Jd? "Hey H, is Jd alive?" she asked timidly, silently praying that the answer would be yes. Instead, H just looked at her confused. It dawned on Veronica that she probably has no idea who Jd even is. "Um, black hair, brown eyes? Was wearing a suit, sat next to me and Heather at the table?" Veronica clarified, hoping to see a look of recognition of H's face. When there was none, Veronica assumed the worst.

Maybe if he hadn't been with her, he would've survived. Maybe he would've been in a safer place? It didn't make much sense, but Veronica needed someone or something to blame, and she, of course, was right there.

As they approached the group, Veronica realized that there weren't as many survivors as she had initially thought. 1, 2... 4. There were four bodies sprawled out on the green of the island, and by the looks of it, they were all very much alive. Veronica almost leaped out of Kurt's arms with joy as she caught a glimpse of a red evening gown; Heather. Heather was alive! Veronica let out an audible sigh in relief as Heather turned her head to the three walking towards her.

"Guys! Guys, it's Kurt and H and... Veronica?" Heather looked at her with a level of fear in her eyes that Veronica couldn't quite comprehend. That was until she looked down at her leg again. It had gotten a whole lot worse. It would probably get infected if it wasn't treated soon, but by the looks of the island, there was no doctor nearby. Veronica scouted the rest of the people for familiar faces, and immediately relaxed when she saw Heather. Even though she and Heather had

Other than heather and Mac, there seemed to be another random boy, perhaps the one she saw at the table, and... Jd. Jd!!! He was alive, and Veronica thanked every power she could think of for that. Kurt finished carrying her to where the group was and laid her down gently next to Heather. "Thank you Kurt," Veronica quietly said, shocked at the kindness he showed her in carrying her all that way. Kurt did some sort of strange army salute, then walked over to the other boy, who Veronica heard Kurt call Ram.

Heather cupped Veronica's face in her hands, and looked into her eyes apologetically. "H, her pupils aren't dilated. That's good. Veronica, did anything hit your head?" Heather asked her in a professional tone, checking her scalp for any blood.

"No, I don't think so. ... We need to find out how bad Mac's head injury is and see... and see if she'll be ok," Veronica chocked, gazing at her normal chipper, happy friend, with her head on Heather's lap, blood clumped in her hair. Heather nodded sadly and started to assess the injury and Veronica looked at her own. She couldn't move her leg at all, the pain was excruciating. It must have been broken. "Shit," Veronica softy sore as the looked at the gash going from her knee at the way down to her ankle. She would have to cover it up. Veronica looked at her dress, slightly torn at the bottom, and had an idea. She ripped a huge portion off the hem so that the dress now went up to her mid-thigh. Veronica almost tied it around her leg to cover the wound, when she remembered the fabric was still wet with seawater, which would not be good to press against the wound. 

"Is there any freshwater in the forest? Has anyone been in there?" she asked the group, hoping someone had already ventured in. She looked around at all the faces, with a chorus of 'no's filling the air. Could this get any worst? Veronica closed her eyes and thought back to the boat. How she was so happy, just looking at the stars... stars. Shoot, it had been night time when she was the last on the ship, but the sun was shining down on their burning faces now. "How long was I out for?" She asked Kurt, turning towards him.

Kurt looked at her for a minute, gave her a slightly sad smile, then replied "All night, and like half the day,". Oh no. Veronica wasn't quite hungry, but she was going to need to eat soon. They all were. Everyone was being so quiet like they had lost their will to keep trying. Veronica had had enough, and she turned away from the group, as she scooted herself towards to forest.

"Ronnie, what are you doing?" H sighed, looking at the determined girl.

"I, am, going, to, find, food!" She struggled to say as she pathetically as she dragged her body across the ground, trying to get to the trees, so she could stabilize herself and try to hop. "What have you guys been doing this entire time, sitting on your asses? If none of you want to even try and survive this, fine. But I am going to go and try to find some damn shelter," Veronica irritatingly yelled at the group, finally getting to the trees. As she struggled to stand herself up, she found an arm around her waist, keeping her upright.

"'Ronica, you can't walk. Just stay here and I'll try and find us some food," The arm belonged to Jd, as well as the voice. He looked into Veronica's eyes, begging her to just stay with everyone else, where she couldn't get more hurt. 

"No. I will not just sit here and let us all die. Get ready Jd, you've got a partner," Veronica declared, grabbing his hand for balance, as the hopped into the thick of the vegetation. Thick tropical trees made it almost impossible to see more than five feet ahead of you, and slippery leaves and sticks lined the ground, making the walk all the more dangerous. "Ok, Jd, go look for some dry sticks. I did girl counts for five years, I can make a fire. Heather!" Veronica yelled back at Heather, who was still lying down. "Just... stay with Mac! H, come over here and grab as many big sticks as you can find, we're making a shelter. Kurt and Ram, you're on food duty. I'll clear a space and start the fire," Veronica confidently order the group. Everyone stayed silent, though, and just stared at Veronica for a minute. "The sun will set soon. Hurry it up!" Veronica yelled as everyone scurried to do what she had told them.

Except for Jd. He just smiled and threw Veronica over his shoulder, knowing that she couldn't actually walk out of the forest alone. He laid her down a few feets away from Heather and Mac and stroked his fingers through her wet hair. He smirked at her, and whispered "badass" in her ear, before leaving to do whatever he needed to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like that chapter was wayyyyy short, sorry about that. I might start updating every other day instead of every day, if that's chill, cause this feels too rushed. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed, make sure to leave me any advice or tips in the comments! Thanks!


	3. Upset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This chapter is meant to be a little more lighthearted than the past two, and you'll get to see some true Heathers spirit!
> 
> Oh, and some swearing, and toxic relationships. But like if you're into Heathers you can probably handle that so yeah, go team!

Veronica had never seen Heather this upset. Not when she had refused to go back to the cabin with her, not when she had refused to give a mean note to Martha, never. But here they were, tending to a fire in the middle of nowhere as Ram and Kurt tried to build them a makeshift hut, and Heather was fuming. 

"Heather, I know you're stressed about Mac, but she's awake now! Her head thing wasn't too bad, it'll be ok," Veronica said to her blonde friend, trying to give her some degree of comfort during these times.

If looks could kill, Veronica would have a knife in her head by now. Heather almost screamed, "Gee, Veronica, did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?! [AN: RIP Kim Walker :(] I'm aware that Mac is fine, I'm not a braindead idiot like you!! Here we are, in the middle of fucking nowhere, and we have nothing to eat except for that stupid boar!" Heather pointed a finger to the (dead) wild boar that had been stabbed by one of the sticks Veronica had sharpened with a knife. "Oh, and another thing, I don't have my hairbrush, my face wash, my anything!! How are we supposed to keep clean out here!? I'm about to freeze to death up, we have no shelter, and there aren't ANY FUCKING CORN NUTS!!!" Heather screeched. Throwing down the kindling she was holding to tend to the fire.

H rolled her eyes. "Wow Heather, so mature," she said so lightly under her breathe, only Veronica could hear it.

"Ok, whatever. Corn nuts aside, I think the fire's ready... so if we all stay close we should be fine. Kurt, Ram? What are you doing?" Veronica acquired, looking at the two boys as if they had three heads. For some reason, they had decided building a shelter was less necessary than having a swordfight with the sticks.

"Chill, blue! We're having fun!" Ram yelled, ducking under Kurt's large stick. Both of the boys had completely lost their shirts, probably taking them off and forgetting where they put them. Heather got visibly annoyed as she sat under the cold moon with nothing to protect her from whatever could happen.

"Such pillowcases. Dumbasses, give me the sticks!" Heather forcefully grabbed the sticks out of the boys' hands before they had a chance. Veronica could only watch as she struggled to even stabilize one of the sticks upright.

"Heather, lean them against each other, no- like this- yes, good. Do we have any vines to tie those together- ok good, just tie them together then," Veronica walked Heather through making a very small, yet sturdy shelter. It wasn't much, but at least they had somewhere to stay for the rest of the night.

Everyone gathered in, with Jd having to carry Veronica. It was super cramped, and the thick grass was itchy. Suddenly, Veronica remembered something.

"Guys, water,"

The group suddenly became aware of how dangerously dry their mouths were. Sure, they were surrounded by loads of water, but could they actually drink it? That was probably a no.

"Wait, does anyone remember that chemistry unit in eight gr-" H started, looking very excited.

"Shut up Heather! How is that relevant right now?" Heather screamed.

"Sorry Heather. It's just, I think we can make saltwater drinkable... but we need a pot..."

"So we hollow out some wood! H, I remember that unit! We just need to boil it and... we need some way to collect the steam," Veronica said, leading to a deep silence within the hut. It's not like they had any plastic bags, so maybe the seawater was off the table.

"Well we can't exactly do that, 'ronica. I say we do something to pass the time, and not think about our impending doom! Truth or daaaaaaare?" Ram asked the group, while only looking at Veronica and Heather, putting his hands on both their thighs. Jd quickly removed his hand from Veronica's leg, and gave Ram a very passive-aggressive smile.

"I think we have bigger things to worry about than Ram getting too horny. How else can we get water?" Jd asked the group.

Mac sighed, scootching out of the hut to look at the sky above. "What chance is there that it'll rain tonight? I mean, we could to the hollow out thing with some wood, and we could collect the rainwater? That forest looks pretty tropical, so it would make sense for it to rain a lot here," 

Veronica nodded in agreement. "I can do that. Come on Mac, let's go find a really big stick!" Veronica was suddenly reminded of her situation when she only got three feet before falling with a huge pain in her leg. "Shouldn't this be healed by now?!"

"It's been one and a half days, Ronnie,"

"I don't care! I can't do anything here, so I will learn to hop, or I'll make myself crutches, whatever! I'm not going to sit down all day and watch us all die!"

Jd sighed and walked over to her. "Come on, let's go," he said, sounding very tired.

"I'm not going back to that stupid hut!" she yelled, struggling to get him off of her as he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.

"Well, then it's a good thing we aren't going to the hut," he said, heading towards the forest.

Ram started making noises that sounded like a monkey, and Kurt mumbled "If I couldn't hit that neither can you, freak,"

Jd carried Veronica a good way into the forest, before setting her down in a small clearing. She crossed her arms her turned away from her, clearly looking distraught. "I do NOT need to be carried everywhere, I can walk on one leg or whatever. And you know what, I always need you to come by and 'save' me! I am perfectly capable of saving myself,"

"Well, you didn't seem to mind much a few seconds ago," Jd smirked, Veronica, responding with an eye roll. "But in all seriousness, Ronnie, I need you to calm down a little. You're the one who knows how to do everything here, and I know it's frustrating not being able to, well, do any of it, but we still need your help. Come on, just work with me,"

"Fine, I'll help everyone more-"

"Everyone?" Jd inquired.

"Well yes everyone, I mean yeah Kurt and Ram make me uncomfortable and look at me really creepily, and Heather is a bitch, and so is H I guess. And Mac is nicer, but she's still a Heather, so she's not actually that nice, and-"

Jd raised an eyebrow, cutting her off. "Ok, fine. They all suck. But I'm not going to leave them to die. I mean, Kurt carried me for so long so we could be near everyone else, Heather kind if rescued me from the hell hole that was high school, and-"

"God, Veronica, Kurt was just using that as an excuse to-to touch you!" Jd yelled and Veronica scoffed. "And Heather didn't rescue you, from what you told me, she made high school ten times worse! She was the one who made you get on that stupid ship! Don't pretend they're good people when they clearly are not!"

Veronica sat silent for a minute, looking at the ground. Suddenly, she grabbed a nearby tree and shot up, attempting to getaway. Jd grabbed her by the waist and pulled her down the ground again. "Jd, let me go!"

"No! Veronica, just-ugh. I'm sorry, just please listen to me! What if we stayed here. Or we go deeper into the forest, whatever. You have the brain, I have the skill, we can live here!"

Veronica looked up at him, slightly confused. "Until we get rescued, right?" Jd looked away. "Because we are going to try and get rescued, right?" Veronica repeated with a bite in her tone. Jd took her hand.

"What is there over there in high school that there isn't here? We have everything we need, right here." Jd looked into her eyes, searching for any sign that she was agreeing.

Veronica turned away. "That's crazy! We just leave them out there to think we're dead, and we spend the rest of our lives in this forest? Really?"

"Just think about it! They get rescued or die, we can kill them if you want! If you want to! And, and, and we can raise our city here! Veronica..." Jd trailed off, looking into her eyes, which were filled with horror. "Ronnie, just..." Jd leaned in, attempting to kiss her when Veronica leaned away.

"You're- you're sick! Do me a favor and leave me alone!" Veronica yelled, hopping away, leaving the forest. Jd sat and watched her struggle to leave, not making an effort to stand up or help her. "Just you wait Veronica..." he mumbled, not letting her hear him. "Our love is God."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was short, oops. Well, I hope you enjoyed a dose of psychotic JD! Not the last time that for sure


	4. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darker plot? I guess! 
> 
> Not a fluffy chapter, going to admit it. But nothing like, super bad happens. 
> 
> This chapter has the perspective of both Jd and Veronica, which I hadn't done until now. Anyway, reviews are always lovely! Thanks for reading!

Shit. Jason Dean was always an intense person. After all, the extreme did make an impression and living on a boat, he needed to make a lot of those. But he had barely ever talked to this girl, and then he asked her to 1) leave her 'friends' in the wilderness to die, and 2) run away and live in a tropical forest on some random island with him. Not one of Jd's proudest moments. He wouldn't be surprised if the girl just stopped speaking to him in general, and honestly, he wouldn't blame her. He was kind of crazy, in a caring way. Yeah, that's what it is. Caring.

  
But no one else on the island seemed to agree. After he had dragged Veronica to the forest, and she limped away, he leaned up against a tree trunk and just thought. Why was she so determined to help these people who never gave a fuck about her? And why would she give up a life as good as, well, no society for those assholes? The only answer had to be manipulation. The popular girls, and honestly their world in general, had manipulated Veronica into thinking that she had to help everyone she came across. 

  
Was it selfish to think that that is just wrong? That, that life has more to it than serving those above you? Veronica, hell, the entire world had no obligation to bow down and just take shit from these people, just because they declare that they are to worship! No, it makes no sense, and Jd wouldn't stand it. He would help himself through this, and whoever else he thinks deserves his help. Veronica, possibly Mac, but probably not. 

  
Veronica was the only thing that was right about this broken world, the only thing keeping Jd sane. Broken. Broken. Jd realized he must be broken. As he leaned his head back against that tree trunk, listening to the sway of the leaves in the wind, he knew that he wasn't whole. 

  
He had chunks and pieces ripped out of him. Every time his father yelled and kicked and screamed, there went a chunk. When his mother just waved at him, her sundress flowing in the breeze, her sunglasses on top of her perfect hair, just to jump out of the boat, a piece of him was gone. Every time he had to deal with assholes like Kurt and Ram, harassing him and others, thinking they can just come aboard fort two weeks, yell some slurs, and walk out, a piece left.

  
And now Jd was full of holes, and he was ready to crumble apart any minute. He was broken. But maybe there was a cure. 

  
Maybe the girl in blue, who questioned life itself, who wouldn't let others boss her around, maybe she was the cure. Maybe she had the pieces he was missing, she was his matching puzzle piece. No, not maybe. 

  
The universe had screwed Jd over time and time again, taking away everyone he cared about and everything he loved, and they gave him her in return. An angel. His cure. His savior. Veronica Sawyer was a gift to him, and he knew it right when he first saw her from across the ship. 

  
Her eyes told a story, a story Jd would never get tired of hearing. Her mouth would sing the words Jd needed to hear. If Jd was ever lost, ever confused, just a glance at her would send him back on track. His muse, his angel, his missing piece. And no one, not Kurt, not Ram, not the stupid fucking Heathers, was going to take that away from him. 

  
*

  
Veronica sat across from H, as the attempted to use a rock and try and carve a bowl shape out of a log. So far, they were not successful. They had determined it would just we easier to hollow out a log and leave the sides tall, sort of like a canoe, to trap rainwater. But as they scarped and scraped for hours, they couldn't help feeling discouraged. They had barely made a dent. Heather and Mac had lined up all the sticks they could find to make a massive 'HELP', hoping that someone would see it. Again, so far, not successful.

  
"I can't do this anymore!" H yelled in frustration, throwing her rock into the shallow area they had carved out. "It's almost night and we haven't eaten all day, I'm starving!"

  
"That's a first," Heather loudly exclaimed. Ram threw his head back laughing, and Veronica noticed Mac start to giggle after a look from Heather. 

  
Veronica shook her head and sighed. "H, it's fine. Ram, Kurt, go kill another boar or something. Or maybe find berries, just get some food while we finish this up," she said, motioning to the log. Veronica gave H a glance, causing her to pick up her stone and get back to work. "See, if you get at the wood from an angle," Veronica said to Heather while scraping a large chunk of wood from the log, revealing more of the orangish wood, "you can do it a lot quicker,"

  
H looked at her, and Veronica swore she almost saw her smile before it turned into a scowl. "I don't need your help."

  
"Someone needs to chill out." They continued to work on the log for what seemed like another hour before Kurt and Ram ran out of the forest, screaming in terror, covered in mud.

  
"There's a ghost in there!!!" "AND IT KNEW OUR NAMES". Veronica was surprised a rescue helicopter didn't immediately find them after all that noise. They ran in circles, screaming, not quite aware that everyone was just staring at them silently. "I SWEAR, AND IT SAID-" "HE SAID-" "NO, NO, NO! HE SAID WE'D ALL BE DEAD-" "DEAD BY MORNING!" the two screamed, interrupting each other every other word.

  
"Are you two insane-" Heather started before they heard a large laugh coming from the forest. There stood Jd, with an evil grin, and... no shirt? He was also covered in mud.

  
"Jd, stop scaring these two! Ugh, Kurt, Ram, did you guys find anything for us to eat?" Mac asked the two jocks, running her fingers nervously through her hair. They sheepishly nodded no, and looked down.

  
"There was this rabbit-like thing and it was so fast, but we tried to catch it! But I fell into some mud," Ram explained, wiping some of the brown stuff off of his chest. Why all the boys felt the need to take their shirts off as soon as they went into that forest, Veronica didn't know. "And, and I tried to grab onto Kurt, but he fell too. So we kept looking for animals to stab, but we couldn't find any, and then we heard the ghost!"

  
"I was messing with you guys. Anyway, I was about to stop you two from going after that stupid squirrel thing, but you got mud all over me... so..." Jd shrugged, smirking. "I had my fun. Anyway, I got berries for everyone!"

  
H jumped up and ran to Jd. He was holding his shirt, which appeared to have a bunch of berries in them. Everyone gathered around, and he gave some to everyone... but Veronica. Weird.

  
"Jd... WAIT!" Veronica suddenly screamed, causing everyone to jump. "Nobody eat those! Look at the crowns, those aren't blueberries, those are poisonous," Veronica explained, a worried look on her face. "Are you trying to poison them? What the fuck is up with you, you're literally insane!"

  
Jd looked very taken aback. "No, I swear, I thought these were safe!"

  
"Oh, ok, then why'd you give them to everyone but me? Don't think I forgot what you said! And don't you, Jason Dean, ever forget my words either. And I will repeat them for you one final time. Stay the FUCK away from me."

  
With that, Veronica slapped the remaining berries out of Jd's hands and stalked on over to the log, putting her energy and emotions into carving the wood out. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jd grab one of the sharpened sticks, and run into the woods. _Hopefully he'll stay there,_ she thought, while aggressively sticking the stone into the log. _Hopefully he'll stay and never come back._

"Veronica, it's ok. Let Heather and I have a turn, you and H need to sleep," Mac said, placing a hand on veronica's shoulder. No one dared to ask what was going on between Jd and Veronica, because based on her expression, she wasn't about to tell. Veronica, almost half asleep, nodded a yes.

It didn't take long for her to pass out under the shelter, next to Kurt. She could hear his heavy breathing and wanted nothing more for him to leave. No, what she wanted to happen was for him to be someone else. She wanted Jd to be next to her, even after all that he had done. What if he wasn't trying to poison them, and she had overreacted? What if it was an accident, and he was in the forest, trying to get them more food now? Kurt and Ram had already come back with two rabbits, but more couldn't hurt.

A rush of guilt washed over Veronica. This was the kid who proposed they drop everything to live in the woods, leaving her friends to die. Why should she care about him?

As Veronica fell asleep, her mind wandered back to that almost perfect night before the boat crashed. Jd and her, looking at the stars, knowing nothing but happiness. Before Heather, of course. Maybe he was just stressed, he had a right to be. After all, they hadn't had any water in 2 days, and honestly, they might all die. Of course, he didn't mean anything he said. Yeah, that was it. He was joking and she took it too far.

The last thing that crossed Veronica's mind before she fell into a deep sleep, was that she needed to find Jd, and apologize.

*

Ok. Not poison. Veronica would notice that too easily. Silly girl, pretending to be mad at the only one she could trust. Even sillier, perhaps, for her to fall asleep only an hour after Jd had run into the woods. His blood boiled as he watched Veronica lay down in the hut, her head right next to Kurt's chest. H and Veronica were done with their 'shift' of hollowing out the log, and Heather and Mac took over. Veronica was now sound asleep, as H eat some of the rabbits that Kurt and Ram had finally caught.

Kurt was next. Jd watched from afar as Kurt stroked his angel's hair as she slept. This wasn't her fault. No, his. Jd kneeled down, behind a bush, his dry thought burning from lack of water. Kurt positioned her head, Jd's head, since she was his, onto his chest. Last straw. He can do whatever the hell he wants to the other girls, but Kurt had no business placing even a hand on Veronica as she slept. No. Veronica should be asleep on him right down.

It took everything in Jd not to march over and beat the living daylights out of Kurt right then and there. But no. Waiting. Wait, wait. But how could he wait? How could he wait as he touches her hair, as he looks at her with those disgusting eyes that Jd wanted to gouge out? It needs to happen soon, maybe when everyone was asleep. Or, he could lure him into the woods, and say it was a bear or a tiger or something.

_Maybe Ram too,_ Jd thought, as he watched Ram's eyes look over Veronica's body greedily. They were... parasites. And Jd was going to clean to world for Veronica, make her see. And he was willing to break down anything and anyone in his way. The biggest obstacle, though, seemed to be Veronica's smarts. So maybe, just maybe, Jd had to be a little smarter.

*

Veronica heard the yelling of Heather as she woke up. Her sleepy brain couldn't quite comprehend what it was she was screaming about, just that she was very upset about it. "Ugh, Heather..." she drowsily muttered, getting up. Up from...

"Kurt, what the fuck!" She said, realizing that as she was asleep, her head was positioned on his lap. She knew that she certainly would not put herself there.

"Babe, just lay down for a few more minutes. Or maybe, you can turn your head around..." Kurt raised his eyebrows suggestively. Veronica knew exactly what he was asking.

"In your dreams, dickhead." Kurt stood up, looking very mock offended, and he faked a faint. Ram caught him, and they laughed and high fived. Veronica, having had enough, left the shelter to see a delighted Mac.

"Oh Veronica, it worked, it rained last night!" she exclaimed, motioning to the log, filled with clean water. Veronica almost cried then and there. The main concern filling her head (besides Jd) was the fact that they were all going to die in a day or two's time without water. But here they were, surrounding a perfect source. Heather threw a hollowed-out stick at Veronica, and she assumed it was to be used as a straw.

As everyone drank the water, Veronica felt alive again. Maybe there was hope. Maybe there was a chance.

But first, before she could have hope, she needed to find Jd.


	5. Hidden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I feel like I got way too angsty way too fast, so here we're going to see a bit of Jd's manipulation of Veronica and him hiding his true self. Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy it!

Veronica gazed at the reflection of the moon in the sea, the smoke from the fire distorting her view and making everything squiggly. The soft orange light from the flames lit up a good area of the ground, and Veronica used the light to make hand puppet shadows. Yes, she was that bored. Distant birds chirped above the crew and the salty scent of seawater mist blended with the firewood in a not unpleasant aroma. Everyone but her and Jd seemed to be asleep, but Veronica couldn't seem to let her eyes close. It was one of those nights where she wanted to run crazy with her friends down a sidewalk, giggling under streetlights and falling over with joy.

Of course, that wasn't an option now. 

Veronica leaned her head back and closed her eyes, letting her back arch and her hair touch the green plants. Tomorrow, they were going to light a signal fire. Tomorrow was the day a new hope might arise, awakening the teenagers from their lazy sword fight with overwhelming darkness. Still, Veronica dreaded having to go back into the real world. Somehow, she felt more in control when she was on the island. Kurt, Ram, and all the Heathers all seemed to be filthy rich, with no sense of how to survive without their money. Veronica, however, hadn't grown up like that.

Her dad used to bring her out into the woods behind her house and show her all the edible plants. "If it's dark and shiny, throw it away! If it's light and matte, it's here to stay." Veronica's dad always made her repeat that rhyme before he would send her off to find some berries and roots. For whatever reason, it was important to him that Veronica knew how to survive in the real world. She knew how to make a knife with a rock and stick, how to make a fishing rod with only some string and a long stick, she knew how to rig traps. She could do so much with this knowledge, if not for her leg.

Trapped in the wilderness on a small tropical island didn't seem to be the thing that annoyed Veronica most. No, the fact that she knew how to keep them alive, and have them all living instead of surviving, but couldn't, was eating her up inside. Gosh, it had been a week, and she still couldn't walk. Instead, she yelled orders from the ground like an old lady in a nursing home.

It was hell.

Veronica opened her eyes and stared ahead, back at the ocean. Deep in thought, she remembered the very last moments on the boat. Her mega-fight with Heather, which surely would have had her crucified if not for the crash. Maybe if they ever leave, Heather will have her chance to humiliate Veronica. But as of right now, she's way too busy complaining about how she hasn't changed clothes in a week. Admittedly, that was a problem, considering they were all in very uncomfortable and useless clothing. By now, all the boys' shirts had been abandoned and used as water filters and mini pouches for berries and roots and such. Veronica's gown had already had a tear, which made it easy to rip the bottom half of the dress off. This way, she could cover her large leg wound, rip a section to tie her hair up, and could move around easier (not that she was doing much moving).

Mac's dress was made of very thick fabric, and would not rip, no matter the effort. So, Veronica had rolled it up to just above her knees and secured it with some vines that they had found, allowing her to move more freely. H's dress, on the other hand, had a giant rip on the shoulder, where she had gotten hit. That left her dress practically hanging on by a few threads. Luckily, Heather knew how to tie them together to seam the fabric back together. That was a real lifesaver, and Heather's obsessive knowledge over this sort of thing finally turned out to be useful. Heather's gown was, like Mac's, left untouched by the wreck. Fortunately, it was easy to rip with a sharpened stick, and Heather ripped it just a bit shorter than she needed too, after crying a bit and mourning the expensive design.

Maybe tomorrow Veronica would experiment with trying to use some of the big leaves and vines as clothing. Her dress, as well as the Heathers' dresses, was starting to fall apart. They were also extremely inconvenient and impractical, and weighing the girls down. If only Kurt, Ram, and Jd weren't on the island, then they could just tie the dresses around their waists and go topless.

Jd. Veronica had forgotten about him. He was sitting diagonally from her, facing the fire. He seemed to be in his own deep train of thought, as he stared at the ground and traced little shapes into the dirt.

"Jd? They're all asleep... can we talk?"

*

She came back. Of course, she did. Jd felt slightly stupid for ever thinking that she would ditch him; she's not like that. No, his Veronica actually cared about him, unlike everyone else in his life. He was her's, she was his. It would all be ok.

"Jd, I don't think you were trying to poison them. I know we're all going kind of crazy here, and who can blame us, and I freaked out and probably ruined everything and-"

"'Ronica, please calm down. I should be apologizing," Jd cut her off, inwardly smirking at how apologetic she can become. She had ditched him, and she had freaked everyone out, but none of it mattered when he saw her in the light of the moon and the fire. The bright embers didn't compare to the flame inside her eyes as she talked, giving her life, and illuminating her beautiful face. She looked at Jd with eyes holding more than just fear. Every time someone looked at Jd, it was either with fear or disgust.

But Veronica's eyes were full of something different. Something Jd couldn't yet recognize. It was like she saw him, as cheesy as it may seem. She really did see him, underneath the layers and layers of his fake self that he put up for protection. She hadn't even fought for it, but she broke down all his walls. It was a terrifying feeling, having someone make you so vulnerable with only a glance. Especially since she had abandoned him, only a day ago. What will stop her from doing as she pleases, breaking him apart as he sits defenseless, as he realizes that he's not even able to hate her for it?

"Veronica, I told you some awful things in the forest, and, and I'm sorry. I just want us to start over. To, to go back to the boat? Just for tonight?" Jd asked, looking into her eyes, searching for any sign of agreement. She looked so sad, so upset, yet her mouth smiled. Her eyes spilled Jd all the secrets he needed, every bit of useful information that he could use to keep her with him. To hold her close and make sure she never gets hurt, make sure she never leaves.

The fire crackled and the night stayed still. Veronica closed her eyes, remember how amazing it felt to have someone truly understand her, to have peace. "Jd, that's all I want. Let's forget about everything, let's forget about where we are, and who we are. Just be with me," Veronica said, scootching herself so she was sitting next to Jd. "Look at the stars with me," she said, as they both laid down and gazed upon the freckled sky. 

Jd inhaled deeply as he restrained the urge to turn over and just stare at Veronica. Somehow, she was even more beautiful now, with all of her makeup washed off, and her hair ruined, then that night on the ship. "Veronica..."

Jd couldn't bear it anymore. He needed to just feel her lips on his, even if it was only once. So he did. And he did again. And in the dying light of the fire, with the whole world silent, Veronica was the only thing consuming his mind. How her lips felt like a cloud against his, how she tasted like the berries Heather had brought back for them. How her hair was tangled at the bottom, but still soft enough at the top for him to run his fingers through. Her entire being drew Jd in so far he wasn't sure if he'd truly ever escape.

And he wasn't sure if he wanted to.

*

"Guess they made up!" was the first thing Veronica heard when morning dawned. Groggily, she opened her eyes, taking in the position she was in. Her legs were wrapped around Jd's waist, her hands around his neck. She quickly unwrapped her legs, as Jd woke too. He moved his hands from her waist to the ground, as they sat up and took in the morning sun. Veronica nervously avoided eye contact but could feel the smirks of others burning into her skull.

"Well, Romeo and Juliet, it's time to make a signal fire. Veronica, you're useless in getting needed materials," Heather stated, glaring at the group. "so you're in charge of making sure the fire doesn't die. It'll have to be a bit away from the base so we don't inhale the smoke. So... over there should do," she declared, pointing to a clearing about 20 feet away. "Chop chop, we don't have all day people! Kurt, Ram, and Lover-boy, go get the greens. H and Mac, I'll come with you guys to get kindling. Now, let's move it!"

"Hey Mac, can you get some of those big leaves and some vines, I want to try and make us clothes that don't weigh us down," Veronica asked the taller girl.

"Oh, of course, this dress smells horrible and holds onto dirt like nothing else! The next thing we need is hairbrushes!" Mac exclaimed, hurrying to follow the other Heathers into the woods. Veronica waited patiently for everyone to come back, as she lightly touched the part of her waist that Jd was holding.

She barely remembered that night, only that she felt safe, and for once in her life, not alone. Maybe Jd could keep her safe from all the nastiness that surrounded her at the moment. Heather's screams and threats, H's jealousy, and Mac's inability to be her own person. And, of course, Ram and Kurt's extensive creepiness. All of it, she would be safe from all of it. As long as she had Jd.

"Here you go Ronnie, can I help you with it? I think I know a bit about sewing and stuff, and I just really want to get out of this dress," Mac placed down a pile of leaves, each larger than Veronica's torso. She also had some of the strong vines they had found on trees earlier. 

"Of course, Mac. This will be good. Maybe we can attach two straps here..." 

The two girls worked on making shirts and shorts for the four girls. It turned out to be much harder than they thought, weaving the vines through the leaves. However, after what seemed like hours of trial and error, they had made four pairs of shorts and four shirts that could be adjusted in the back. The shirts were open back, but the leaves were very sturdy and were sure to last longer than the flimsy cloth.

"Heather, H! We made all of them!" Mac called out to the two girls, who quickly hurried away from the growing fire to look at the new apparel.

"Well, it's not cute, but I guess we could consider it 'jungle chic'. Let's go into the woods to change," Heather demanded, leading the way.

"Um, I can't walk,"

"Fine. Boys, into the woods, and no looking!" Heather yelled, giving Ram a small wink.

Once they were gone, the girls got into their shorts quickly. "Mac, will you tie my top for me?" Veronica asked, holding the leaf shirt over her bare chest. Mac nodded and tied it up tight enough for it to stay on.

"Jeez Veronica, you've lost weight. You were already a stick before, but at least you had tits. How's Romeo going to react when you lose your boobs, huh? It's kind of all you have going for you, you know," Heather laughed. Veronica sighed looking down at herself. It was true, she was already only 115 pounds before all this, and now she looked barely over 100, of that. "But I bet H would love to be like that, wouldn't you?" Heather added cruelly, grinning at a struggling H.

"Gosh Heather, you are such a mega-bitch!" Veronica yelled, startling everyone, including herself.

"I'm sorry, what? What makes you think you can talk to me like that? Veronica, I invented you!"

"Yeah, you invented the version of me that's stuck on this stupid island! My life would be _much_ better without you Heather, everyone's would be! Don't you get it? You don't have any power over me here! No crowds to run me over with and no one here can shun me since I'm the only one who knows a damn thing on how to survive! I made _you,_ the version of you that's fucking alive! So stop insulting me and H for things we can't fucking control, because who gives a shit about what they look like on an island in the middle of nowhere? Not me Heather, not me."

For a split second, Heather's eyes seemed to glow a bright red. It ended as fast as it came, though, and Heather stalked off towards the forest.

"Where's she going?" Mac asked.

"Probably to have angry sex with Ram," H replied with a smirk.

"Whatever. Mac, can you tighten my shirt a little more?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are my chapters too short? Be honest, I'm totally willing to make them longer! Thanks for reading, love ya xx


	6. Living

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for some sexual assault and non-con elements, be safe!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

Calm. Serene. Peaceful. Veronica Sawyer had never felt so alive than when she had barely survived. No one was yelling, no one was arguing. For once, they all seemed to just co-exist, sitting around the fire, eating edible greens that H had found. It had been a few days since Veronica exploded on Heather, and so far, she had done nothing. Earlier that day, Veronica discovered she could lightly bend her knee. She still couldn't put any pressure on it, but it was progressing. And that was all that she needed right now. Progress. 

A deep night started to crawl into the sky, and the sun slowly began to set. Earlier that day, Veronica had instructed Ram and H on how to make the shelters, and there were now 3 of them. The goal was to make 7 so they could each have their own, but H and Ram had begun arguing halfway through and H refused to continue. So now, they had 3 shelters and 7 teenagers. They would probably make Ram, Kurt, and Jd share a shelter while the Heathers and Veronica slipt the other two. 

The signal fire was up and running, thick smog rose to the sky above, attempting to catch the attention of whatever search vehicles had been sent to find them. Annoyingly, there hadn't been one sign of human life since they had left the boat. Veronica was beginning to think she had some sort of island Stockholm syndrome because she never had a burning desire to be saved. Life back home sucked just as much as life here, but when she was here she was freer.

Veronica broke from her trance by a not so surprising yell from H. "No! I thought we were sharing a shelter, then Mac and Veronica could! You can't just go off and take one with _Ram!"_

"Oh yeah? Try and stop me biatch!" Heather yelled back.

"Heather, just share one with H and you and Ram can bone on your own time," Veronica said, a tinge of annoyance building in her voice.

"You can always join us, Veronic- ow!" Ram winced as Heather kicked him in the shins. Heather flipped H off sliding into her shelter with Ram. Great, just when Veronica didn't have any earplugs.

"Ok, well I'm not going to share a shelter with two people, that's cramped. Mac, you're with me. Veronica, you can sleep on the ground, I don't give a shit," H puffed, as she and Mac made their way to their hut.

"Bitch," Veronica muttered as she sighed. Great, laying on the ground for an entire night. Definitely ideal. "Veronica, you can share with Jd and me," Kurt offered, not looking like he had any bad intentions. Still, Veronica was slightly hesitant. "Chill, I won't make you have a threesome. Unless..." he smirked, met with an eye roll from Veronica. Night had arrived, and the air was chilly. Veronica didn't have much of a choice as she trudged along, laying down. She faced away from Kurt, who was between her and Jd.

"Kurt, move," Veronica heard Jd demand. "Switch with me."

"No way, you aren't banging her when I'm laying right here, that's a three-person thing!" Kurt protested. Veronica shifted uncomfortably, locking her eyes on the grass-covered sides of their slanted shelter. 

"Just move dude!"

"No way!"  
  


"Move!"

"I said-"

"You two better be quiet right now or I swear I will get Heather to make you stop, and you do _not_ want to be a part of that," Veronica interrupted, just wanted to sleep/

"Actually I would want to be a part of _that,"_ Ram quietly crept. Veronica scoffed and closed her eyes. Tomorrow they would make more huts, and she would kill Heather, H, and Mac for making her experience this. 

*  
  


"Chill out, you didn't see anything!" Kurt bellowed, pushing Jd back.

"I know what I saw, don't tell me to chill out!" Jd responded, pushing the boy back. It couldn't have been later than 8 am, but Jd and Kurt were already having a screaming match in the middle of the base. Jd woke up to an asleep Veronica with her top ripped next to her, and Kurt kneeling above her, her body between his knees. Jd saw red and dragged Kurt out of the hut without a second thought. That's how they ended up where they were now, slowly waking everyone else up.

"Um, liar! You can't prove anything, psycho! You're so fucking obsessed, it's creep-" Kurt was cut off by a punch in the stomach from Jd. Chaos erupting from the group as the two boys entered a full-fledged fistfight. H exited her shelter and gasped.

"What are you two doing? We are trying to stay _alive,_ to kill each other!" She shrieked, effectively waking up the last two, Heather and Veronica. A confused mumbled followed Veronica's waking and was then turned into a scream. Her shirt was ripped in half next to her. 

Veronica crossed her arms to cover her chest. "Mac, come here right now!" she desperately screamed. Meanwhile, as Mac rushed over, Kurt had brought Jd to the ground, but Jd ended up on top. There was so much screaming, no one except Mac seemed to be aware of Veronica's situation, thankfully. Mac blocked out Veronica's front from everyone, then looked at the shirt. It was completely ripped, with the only salvageable piece barely being big enough to cover what was needed.

"Ok.. um, just cover yourself with this," Mac said, handing her the small piece, "and we'll have to make you a new one. I can't save this,"

"It took as us all day to make these!" Veronica whisper yelled, her face burning crimson, and tears threatening to leave her eyes.

"It's ok Ronnie, just stay here. I'll tell the boys not to come in. But, how did you rip your shirt?" Heather questioned. _Gosh, she must think I'm such a slut,_ Veronica thought as she remembered who she had been sharing the hut with.

"I have no idea, you have to believe me! I just woke up to those two screaming at each other, and I was topless! What are they even fighting about?" Veronica questioned, concerned.

"'M not sure-"  
  
  


Heather was cut off by a yell from Ram, who appeared to have separated the two. "What the hell, freak, why'd you go crazy on my boy?!" Ram yelled, shoving Jd down. Heather and H were standing behind him, watching it go down.

"Why don't you tell them, Kurt? Huh, explain the sight I woke up to!" Jd yelled right back, shocking Kurt.

Kurt barely opened his mouth before Heather cut in. "Veronica, you little slut! Look, her shirt is all ripped!" she cackled, pointing at the remains of a shirt Veronica was holding to her chest. Veronica sat frozen as all eyes turned to her. There was no keeping the stars in her eyes now, and her face was so hot, she would have thought it was on fire.

"I-I didn't-" she stuttered, trying to defend her current situation.

"Aw, so Jesse James over here is beating Kurt cause he got to bang his girl before him. Sad, that Veronica had to be such a nasty whore!" Heather exclaimed, as the built-up rage from days and days spilling out like hot tea. "Aw, cry away skank, no one will want to go near you now. Was it both of them? Did you let them both bend you over and-"  
  


"Yep! Both of us!" Kurt yelled, standing up. Veronica noticed his gaze linger on Ram for a minute, almost looking for approval, before returning to a smirk.

"That's not true and you know it!" Veronica yelled, trying to stay calm as Heather stalked towards her.

"No, I woke up to Veronica asleep and Kurt-" Jd started, but was interrupted with a punch to the stomach from Ram.  
  


"Sweet little Veronica Saywer isn't what she appears! Why even hold that stupid leaf up if you probably have already shone everyone here everything!" Heather yelled, approaching her, and talking right into her face. Veronica could see the faces and H, Mac, and Ram, looking disgusted at Veronica's 'behavior'. "You'll never live this one down, whore." Heather glared at Veronica, and ran a sharp nail down the center of the leaf, leaving it in two pieces. "Oops! Not like you need it anyway."

*

The only thing Veronica wanted to do was run. She wanted to run away into the forest and never come back. Unfortunately, her leg prevented her from doing much but weakly limp away as the Heathers and Kurt and Ram laughed. How had she gotten herself into this? How could they be so mean, and what had really happened?  
  


Veronica finally disappeared into the woods, leaning against a tree trunk. Heather Chandler. She finally got her revenge. God, the world would be so much better if she just hadn't existed. The Veronica wouldn't have been on that stupid ship, she would be at home having a movie night with Martha. She would be safe, fully clothed, and happy. Pretty much the opposite of her current situation.

"I wish Heather would just die!"

"You and me both," a voice from behind her said. Veronica gasped, not sure if she had been followed, or she was being haunted. "It's fine, it's just me," Jd appeared in front of her, with blood dripping from his nose and his knuckles. There were bruises forming on the side of his abdomen and on his left eye.

"Oh my gosh, Jd! You're all bloody!" she exclaimed, surprised. Veronica held his hand in hers, seeing how damaged they were. "Ok, I can bandage this with some of the thin leaves, but you have to wash this out,"

"And go back to those assholes? No thank you,"

Veronica sighed and crossed her arms over her chest again. This was a nightmare. "What happened? I'm just so confused," she asked, the waterworks teasing a comeback.

Jd sighed and looked at the sky. As much as he didn't want her to know, he needed to tell her. "I just woke up and rolled over, and I saw Kurt on top of you. And your shirt was off, and he was kissing you and.. you know, grabbing you and stuff. I got all mad, cause I thought you two were just about to screw right next to me, but when I yanked him off, I saw that you were asleep. So I just kind of pulled him out and punching him,"

Veronica just looked at the ground. What more could she do? Asleep. Dammit, she should have just slept on the ground. Or she shouldn't have yelled at them to be quiet. She shouldn't have trusted. She shouldn't have ended up here, and she shouldn't have become a Heather. Veronica turned from Jd and grabbed one of the big leaves. With a vine, she lamely tied it around her, enough to cover, but not enough for it to stay on while moving. "Jd, you shouldn't have fought him. Look at your eye, it's turning blue!" she exclaimed, examining his beaten face.

"Do you know what would have happened if I hadn't stepped in? He probably would have had his way with you, Veronica, whether you were awake or not. I'm not sorry for what _he_ did."

There was no stopping it. A tear streamed down Veronica's check before she could stop it, and it was followed by many more, silently. "They made you cry," Jd said as a statement, rather than a question. "I will end them. All of them. You are the only thing that's right about this broken world. It's ok, go ahead and cry. I'll make them pay."

"You can't... you can't hurt them" Veronica weakly said between sobs.

"Oh don't worry, I'll just make Heather see what she's done. Don't worry Veronica, I'll make her see the light."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I bet you can all tell that I haven't moved in two weeks by the amount I'm uploading! If it's too much, don't hesitate to tell me! Also, I really have no idea if this sucked or not but I hope you enjoyed it!


	7. Cracked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a really sad chapter in my other fic so this one is going to be a little lighter and hopefully nicer! Thanks for reading xx

Big Bud Dean was in trouble. A lot of it. He wasn't supposed to be alive right now, hell, no one knew he was. And it needed to stay that way, or else he would probably get the death penalty. It wasn't that he tried to kill anyone, no! He just... withheld the information that the boat was going down. Before you go and think he's a monster, just listen. On the last stop, Big Bud Dean decided that the extra life vests and lifeboats were only taking up room. Since he was such a great engineer, why would they even need it?

And by the extra live vests and lifeboats, he meant all but one set of them.

It just made more sense to sell them, and use that money to hire an assistant! He was overworked and tired of the engine failing. It kept catching on fire, and it was very tiring to put them out. An assistant would _help_ the ship be safer. So really, he had nothing to do with the crashing. 

Ok, that's not entirely true. He _was_ drinking, and he _did_ get mad, and he _did_ start a fire, and he _did_ lose track of the bomb he had... but he _didn't_ set the thermals or the bomb off. Not on purpose. It was the engine fire, they triggered the bomb, which triggered the thermals, which blew the boat up. Or at least most of the boat. If anyone was on the top of the boat, they wouldn't have been killed by the bomb, but they would most likely have been hit by debris, and die. And even then, they would definitely drown. Nope, everyone was dead.

Except for Big Bud Dean. Here he was, on a random island, in a random town, in a random country. They spoke Spanish, so Bud assumed he was somewhere in Central America. He had floated in his fully stocked lifeboat for days before a fishing boat rescued him. So now, here he was, not sure how to get home. Or even him he should go home.

He was almost a week into safety when the thought came to him; his _son_ was on that boat. He most likely killed his son.

It didn't weigh on him as it should've. It wasn't his fault. No, it was whoever moved his bomb's fault. Big Bud Dean had no fault in his son or wife's deaths. God, why did the universe hate him so damn much?  
  


*

Veronica wanted a shot. She barely ever drank, unless she really needed to forget something. Like right now.

It was deep in the night, and Jd had left to steal the supplies. It sounded bad, but Veronica refused to go back to their camp, and Jd had agreed, so they were just stealing what they had contributed. Just some food, one of the water bowls, some straws, Jd's old shirt, and the sharp sticks. Other than that, they decided to start over even deeper in the woods. They weren't near the ocean, but they had one thing the others didn't.

In the heart of the forest, they had found a stream.

They basically built their entire camp around it. One mid-sized shelter, with moss collected from trees as flooring, three traps Veronica had taught Jd to rig, and two fires. One to cook and stay warm, and one for signaling. Veronica had to convince Jd for the second one.

Here Veronica was, staring at the stars, as she waited for Jd to come back. She knew life is full of mistakes, and she had just made a series of very unfortunate ones to end up here, but she wasn't sure if she regretted anything. Besides falling asleep next to Kurt Kelly, of course.

The stars were dull that night, as the sky was a little cloudy. But one bundle stood out to Veronica's eyes. Three stars in a perfect triangle formation, and another close by, trailing just a bit to the left. That was the Heathers and Veronica, she supposed. She was never quite one of them, always near but never there. Maybe those stars were them as angels, maybe they were actually dead. Maybe this was Veronica's hell. 

Jd left almost 30 minutes ago, and since he could actually walk, it shouldn't have taken him more than 20. Veronica trusted him, though, and he was probably just grabbing some other things on his way. She sighed, and could almost see her breath. While the days were scorching, the deathly chill of the night was always worse.

A bird loudly called its mating call into the sky. Veronica briefly wondered if the Heathers could hear it too; if they were still there. She wasn't sure if even she was.

Finally, Veronica saw Jd emerge from the trees. She was starting to get a little worried, she wouldn't exactly put it past him to go beat up Kurt and Ram in their sleep. But here he was, blood-free, carrying the goods. "Put this on," he said, tossing his dress shirt at her. It smelled like seawater, but it was better than wearing nothing. Veronica muttered thanks as she put it on.

She felt pretty ridiculous, with the hem almost touching her knees and the sleeves going way passed her hands. She rolled up the sleeves to her elbows, but let the bottom of the shirt hang free. This was much better than her single leaf 'shirt'. "Ha, that's huge on you," Jd said as he handed her some vines he brought back.

"Haha, very funny," she sarcastically replied, trying to decide what to do with the vines. They already had three traps rigged, but they only got around one catch a day out of all of them. Building another wouldn't do much. Maybe these could just be replacements if any of them snapped. After all, they weren't super durable. "Did anyone wake up?" Veronica questioned as Jd put the rest of the stuff down.

He shook his head, his messy brown hair rumbling. "No, they were passed out. I was fighting an urge to just throw them into the ocean, just to see if they'd wake up," he said, a smirk forming on his lips as he watched Veronica roll her eyes.

"The sad thing is, I can't even tell if you're kidding," she replied jokingly. Veronica yawned and stretched her arms above her head. It was late, and she really just wanted to sleep. Jd seemed to agree.

"Let's go to bed, we can start the signal fire in the morning. Though I still don't get why we would if we won't get found anyways," Jd responded, only half-kidding.

Veronica rolled her eyes and put on a fake peppy attitude. "Not with that attitude, we won't! Whatever, I'm going to bed. Night, Jd,"

"Goodnight Veronica,"

*

Half their shit was gone. Well, not half, but a bunch of their food was missing, and their extra supplies. Plus, their fire was out. Which caused Heather Chandler to wake up very, _very_ cold.

She immediately blamed Ram and Kurt. They probably set it all on fire or something. Heather inspected the fire, and all the sticks were wet. Someone poured wanted on the fire and stole their shit. And Heather knew exactly who that someone was.

"Looks like our friend Jd paired us a visit last night and raided us," Heather announced to the group through her sealed teeth. Jd and Veronica had left that one night and never come back until now, apparently. It couldn't have been Veronica, though, cause she still was a hobbling little pity party. No, it would have had to be her emo accomplice.

Mac looked at the ground. "Heather, can you really blame him? You were really harsh on Veronica, and we all know Kurt was probably just lying," she mumbled, looking at an offended Kurt.

"Did not, we both hit,"

Heather scoffed. "Mac, she deserved it. I invented her, and she talked to me like I was H or something! Not ok, that whore got what she had coming to her," H looked mildly offended, but kept her mouth shut. She learned that that was best when Heather was like this. "And the asshole poured water on our fire, we'll literally freeze at night! And how are we supposed to cook food?"

Ram sat up a bit, "We could build another fire?" he said as more of a question than a suggestion.

"Does anyone here know how?" Heather asked, looking at the four kids in front of her. A chorus of 'no's followed, leaving Heather very stressed. "Well, how the hell did we build it last time, then?"

There was a deafening silence before Kurt spoke up. "Veronica just told us what to do,"

Heather glared with red hot eyes. "Oh, and you had to screw that up and chase her away with your major creeping, didn't you, Kurt? This is _your_ fault."

Kurt put his hands up in defense and stood up. "Woah, I'm not the one who made her leave! You tore the shirt and yelled at her until she ran away Heather, this isn't all me, you're just being a coward! And you also can't prove I did anything, so ha."

Heather was taken aback. This was the second time this week someone had spoken to her in such a manner. It's like the world forgot who she was. But she hadn't. High school or island, stiletto or barefoot, she was _Heather Chandler,_ and people bowed down. Demon Queen, Bloody Heather, Red Ruler. She was called many names in her lifetime, but 'coward' was never, ever one of them. And it never would be again. 

"Ex _cuse_ me? Kurt Kelly, I _know_ you did not just call me a coward. I _know_ you aren't going to make me make _you_ regret ever being born. Or am I? Sit the fuck down before I stab you through your empty skull with this spear. I'm not afraid of you, the 'tough guy' who couldn't take a random loner. Do _not_ mess with me."

And with that, justice was restored. Well, at least in Heather's eyes.

*

Someone was shaking Veronica's shoulders frantically. She was still asleep, and whatever this was, it was not a fun way to wake up. Still, it seemed urgent, so she quickly opened her eyes. "Jd, what's is it?"

"Look!" Jd excitedly said, pulling something from behind his back and shoving it in Veronica's face. It smelled so strongly of-

"A fish?!" she yelled, jumping back as Jd laughed. It was still moving! "Jd, you did not wake me up so you could stick a still live _fish_ in my face!"

He laughed more, holding the creature by its scaley tail fin. "Oh, but Ronnie, that's exactly what I did!" Jd exclaimed, wearing a look of fake shock. Veronica groaned and fell back onto the ground, worried if she rolled her eyes at that boy one more time, she'd lose them.

"Very funny. Well, now I'm up. And I have a plan," Veronica replied, picking up the vines. She had thought about it last night before she fell asleep, and it was perfect. She knew how they were going to get off this stupid island.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" Jd asked as he popped a berry in his mouth and added kindling to their fire.

"We can build a raft and get out of here!" she answered, a proud look on her face. Why they hadn't thought of that sooner, she wasn't sure. "I mean, we haven't seen any planes or helicopters, so they obviously think there are no survivors, so we just have to find them,"

Jd looked conflicted. Veronica knew that they were probably safer on the island, but no one would ever find them here, no matter how many signal fires they set. "We don't know how far away civilization is, Ronnie. We could end up on another island like this and have to start over, or we could just die at sea,"

Veronica shook her head. "Jd, I can't stay here any longer. I'm dying here, and I know you are too. We either die trying to save ourselves, or we rot away slowly. Pick your battle."

"Veronica, we aren't dying! We have everything we need here-"

"But we don't! I miss my parents, my actual friends, and I even miss my school. I still have dreams that I'm not ready to give up!"

"Well, it's easy for you to say when you actually have something to go back to! My dad was my only family, and he was on that boat. I did online school, I don't _have_ any friends. I'm lone*r boy, remember? I don't _have_ dreams, not anymore. Veronica, you are all I have, and I won't risk losing you again."

"Jd-"

"No. We aren't leaving."


	8. Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I drank a slushy while writing this just for the vibes lmao, anyway enjoy!

A plan. A plan to find Veronica and Jd, a plan to set them straight. A plan to crucify Veronica, a plan to bring her back up. Kurt, Ram, and the Heathers had discussed many plans, all but one. Mac was confused as to why they never planned to escape. The sea was calm, the sun hot, and they were rotting away on this island. While Heather was on a daily rant about finding Jd and disconnecting his head from his body, as Kurt and Ram planned to tie up Veronica and throw her into the ocean, as H planned to overthrow Heather, it all felt very... _highschool._ They were on an island in the middle of nowhere, and had been for two fucking weeks! Why did everyone seem more concerned with drama than the whole death thing?

Mac had her own plans. She was going to find Veronica too, but not so she could kill her or fuck her as Heather and Ram planned. No, she knew Veronica. Or, she knows Veronica's values and dreams. That girl must be itching to get out of here, and so was Mac. She was going to find Veronica, and they could leave on a boat or some shit. It didn't matter, she just needed to be free. Free from Kurt and Ram's creepy comments, Heather's bullying, and H's complaints.

H. 

She was the problem. Mac and H were at the same level their entire lives. A second place to Heather in every aspect, they had grown close over their shared jealousy and resentment. From 7th grade through senior year, even though H wasn't the most trustworthy, she was always the first one to hear Mac's secrets. The first person to help her get through a bad breakup, the first person she called when her parents divorced. It all led back to H, and make wasn't sure she could just leave her on the island to rot with the likes of the almighty. No, her conscious would eat her alive.

But what choice did she have? H would think that it's too dangerous, or she would insist on going without Veronica. That wasn't possible, considering Veronica was the only one who actually knew how to survive out here. After she left, it was a real struggle. Not knowing how to really make a fire or a trap, not knowing how to build another shelter when the wind blew one of their's down. Heather complained the most, and Mac suppressed the urge to scream. She drove Veronica away, she doesn't get to complain. Well, maybe that's not true. It wasn't solely Heather's fault. Mac had laughed when Veronica's shirt got ripped, and Mac had gone along with H's idea of leaving Veronica to sleep on the ground. But that didn't make her a bad person! No, it was a little funny, you had to admit. Plus, it was nice to see Veronica finally be the one picked on, instead of H. Veronica needed to be bumped down a notch, she needed a reminder that there was still a hierarchy, and she wasn't at the top. Close, yes, but she wasn't the top dog and she needed to accept that.

Plus, what did she think would happen if she literally had a threesome with two guys with everyone sleeping so close to them? Kurt had told all the details, and it was pretty gross. Even Heather said she wouldn't ever do something like that, and Heather did pretty much anything she wanted. Veronica had gotten a tad too bold, and all Heather had done was sit her back down. She didn't have to freak out and run and certainly didn't have to lie to Mac.

That's what got her. Not the distasteful threesome, not the unawareness of the social ladder, but the lying. She told Mac that she didn't know what happened, that her shirt had just come off. But from what Kurt had told everyone after she left, she was very aware that the shirt was coming off. So why did she feel the need to lie to Mac and get her roped into this mess? If there was anything Heather McNamara couldn't stand, it was liars. 

But she needed Veronica.

She needed to get out, and Veronica would be the person to help her. She loved H, but she needed to let her go. For herself. Mac never thought for herself, always thought was she was told. She never put herself first, it was always someone else, which is why it hurt so much when Veronica had abused that trust and lied. No, Heather McNamara could not-would not be a pushover anymore. She was leaving this fucking island, and she was leaving everyone who had ever hurt her, silenced her, told her she was nothing more than a pretty face-

She was leaving them all the fuck behind.

*

They still hadn't spoken a word to each other. Veronica silently cooked the squirrel-rabbit creature that she caught in a trance, and Jd traced worded of nothingness into the ground. The worst part of the entire mess wasn't the uncertainty of tomorrow, not the sharp loneliness without your friends and family, not the pain that came with the unhealed injuries- it was the boredom. Like a pang of emptiness infecting your bloodstream and making its way to your brain, causing insanity. Just one book would satisfy Veronica right now.

It didn't help that Jd was mad at her- and never spoke a word. In the night, he would hold her in his arms, protecting her from the cold pain of the night, the demons that lurked all around them, not leaving for a minute. The deep darkness was filled with wordless kisses, passionate touches, and closed eyes. Jd would hold her close, her head on his chest, and they would just lay there. Never moving, never speaking. In the night, there was love. A strange type, not a calm, controlled, peaceful love, but the type that took over your entire body. A love that set you aflame, your desire burning through everything you do. Not desire for sexual contact, but contact in general; mental and physical. Jd only seemed interested in the physical aspect, but Veronica wanted more. She wanted to connect again like they had so many times before. She didn't want to feel his love for her through strokes of her hair, hickeys down her body, moans in the dark. She needed to hear him say he loved her, or she might go insane. 

Words contaminate the wonder of a silent night.

But why must that passion continue throughout the day? Why couldn't he help seize her boredom, her painful nothingness, with just a few words? Every time she tried to open her mouth, he looked her as if to say 'don't destroy the peace'. But the peace was already gone, it left the moment he forbid her, as if he _owned_ her, from leaving the island. He ordered her around without words, making her do his bidding. She agreed for no reason other than fear. Fear of being alone again, of having to return to a place of hatred and hurt. When she was in his arms, she didn't feel anymore. She didn't feel empty, she didn't feel sad. She felt nothing but adrenaline in her veins, serotonin pumped through her brain. She felt alive.

But Jd would not answer her silent calls. Her little prayers, begging he would grant her the freedom of a word. She was enslaved in her own mind, the key in his hand. As the days passed by, it grew more bearable. She had his soul connecting with hers at night, and one day, they finally connected fully. In the deep woods on a stranded island, it wasn't conventional. But the longer they stayed without other interaction, the more they longed for each other's deepest touch, the biggest act of intimacy. A part of Veronica wished it didn't have to be like this: two damaged kids, looking for something to distract them from their impending doom, the doom that lived and bred in their own minds. Two kids fueled by fear of the real world, fear of what would happen if they separated for just one second. And so they didn't.

And so they won't.

But that doesn't mean Veronica is content, and she cannot imagine Jason Dean, the boy who quotes Baudleir yet wore a leather jacket, who beat the shit out of anyone who touched Veronica, who's love language was poems and mall touched, could be either.

Veronica sat up, thinking. That last part, what had she thought? He beat up anyone who touched Veronica. Kurt stripped and groped her while she was asleep, and Jd went batshit crazy, beating the boy bloody. Even on the first night on the ship, he told Kurt _for_ her that she wasn't interested, and that they were going to look at the engine. Sure, she wasn't interested, and she was thankful for Jd helping her out, but it was almost slightly controlling- and they had barely met.

And now, trapped on an island, Jd ordered her to stay. He didn't ask, didn't talk it through with her- he said 'no', and that was then and done. Veronica had never been someone to do as she was told without asking questions, but she was a woman possessed. Blinded by her love, she did as she was told. She became her mother, her grandmother, her aunts. Everything she swore not to be in life- submissive to her lover in all aspects. Veronica almost threw up when she mentally took a step back and looked at the big picture of her life.

She _cooked_ him dinner. She kept the site clean, she sat silently as he did as he cared, though she never did as she pleased- Veronica Sawyer was a different human than the one who had gotten on that ship. Jason Dean, no matter how much she loved him, had changed her. In a horrible, dark way. He truly did give her a pair of rose-colored glasses the first time their lips made contact- and the was the first time she took them off.

That night, he held her in his arms like usual. She never noticed how tight his grip was, the way his thumb stroked her arm. When he kissed her neck, he was never gentle, never smooth. Hit big and he marked and he made her his. He let her know through non-verbal actions that she wasn't Veronica Saywer, she was the property of Jason Dean. She wanted to be her own person again, not an object for Jd to use when he got bored, a tool to help _him_ through something that was traumatic for both of them.

She needed to be free. Veronica Sawyer was a hostage, and she was going to escape.

*

"Ok. Imagine I have a slideshow presentation. Here is the plan. I've worked many days to painstakingly provide you losers with this mastermind, brilliant plan of revenge. Kurt and Ram, you come in first-"

"YEAH!" Ram screamed, pumping his fist in the air for no reason whatsoever. Heather rolled her eyes.

"Shut the fuck up. Anyway, we all make our way into the woods. Veronica had a crippled leg, so they couldn't have gotten too far. It's early morning, so the sun is rising and we have light, but they're still asleep. Kurt and Ram, you two are somehow too weak to take on one, one! emo kid alone, so while he's asleep, you'll tie him down. I don't think we'll need to tie down Veronica, she can't really move, we'll just hold her still-"

"I'd be happy to tie her up!" Ram said, high-fiving Kurt. 

"Will you two be quiet?! Ok, so you beat the fuck out of Jd, then stab him a bit with one of the spears. We'll make Veronica watch, and teach her how weak he really is, how he'll never be able to protect her like someone powerful, ae. me, can. We leave that asshole to bleed out, and we take Veronica back. She helps us rebuild everything, she'll be useful. I'm so pissed at her, I won't be able to let her speak, so Kurt and Ram, you can have her-"

Kurt and Ram looked at each other briefly before exploding into cheers and shouts.

"I will cut your dicks off if you don't be quiet!!" Heather screamed, at the end of her temper. "Thank you. Veronica's only use is to help us stay alive, so you two having your way with her might keep her quiet. Anyways, she can help us eventually build a boat, which we'll use to get out of her. But here's the real kicker: before we set sail, we tie her up. NOT in the way you're thinking Ram, and tie her legs and arms up so she can't move, then we throw her in the water and boom. Less weight on the boat, less food having to go to her, and revenge. It's perfect, I know," Heather finished, the rest of the group completely silent.

"I'm assuming that you are all just so _shocked_ by my genius, so you're not responding. Anyway, we ride at dawn, so go twiddle your thumbs and wait," she declared, walking away. The group thought to themselves, was killing both of them necessary? They could just leave them here, they didn't need to kill... 

But Heather's word is law, as always. 

*

The night was almost over. Jd hadn't care, nor noticed, when Veronica had laid motionless and emotionless as he attacked her mouth. His need for physical connection seemed to be lessened and overthrown for his need to satisfy his own urges, dragging Veronica for the ride. Now he was asleep, one of his hands on her waist, the other on the small of her back as she laid on him, her head resting on his chest, next to her hands. She felt safe, yet trapped. This was the night she planned to escape, planned to run off into the woods with only a spear and some ropes, and relive her life. She would make a boat, and she would leave this godforsaken island no matter what Jd wanted. She wasn't going to give up on her dreams, and he couldn't stop her.

So she tried to lift his arms. God, he had a firm grip on her, This explains the bruises that decorated her arms, he must hold her like every night.

No, she was going to getaway. Veronica had to find another way out: she had to wiggle out. Luckily, or not so luckily, she had lost a dangerous amount fo weight. She was already quite small, to begin with, but now her rips were clearly visible, her legs boney, and she was light enough to be thrown around like a rag doll, as Jd had demonstrated many times. But now, her thinning frame was coming in useful as she slipped out from his grip, and left the shelter.

There were no thoughts in her mind as she gathered what she needed. Pain shot from her leg, never properly treated, she ignored it and continued to grab her stuff. She still loved Jd, though she didn't want to. The last thing she wanted was for her to feel the same firey love as before, but it was unfortunately still there. She didn't want to take much from him, she wanted home to be able to live here happily. Or, as happily as he could without her.

Veronica took once last glance at their small area, before turning her back to it. No, she cannot miss this life. This is the opposite of what she wants, of what she's always wanted. This life will miss her.

Yes, this life will long for her. Will wish she'd come back to serve Jd forever, to be his slave. No, she can't. She won't. She-

"Where do you think you're going?"


	9. Cleaned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this chapter is going to change some things. Enjoy!

"Where do you think you're going?"

Veronica Sawyer froze. Her heart lept into her throat, and her hand converted her mouth. Her bloody felt cold in her feet, and terror stabbed into her gut. No. No, she had nothing to be afraid of. Or did she? "Jd. I'm-" Veronica started. Courage. She used to stand up to bullies in the hallways, used to defend her and Martha. She wasn't leaving old Veronica Sawyer behind, she wouldn't. She was done. "Jd, I'm leaving. You can choose to come or not, I don't care. Bye," she said. Relief flooded through her body as she turned back around. She would leave this fucking island once and for all.

"Veronica, you need to stay here, it's dangerous without me!" Jd protested, stepping towards her. Veronica scoffed. Without him? As if she was some fragile flower how would fall apart when a gentle breeze blew. As if she was anyone but Veronica fucking Sawyer, who had lost herself, but was going to get it back.

"Oh, without you? Cute, but no. I'm the one you need, but I'm getting off this island. And you can't stop me," she said. Pride was the only thing she felt. Fallen leaves crunched under her feet as she took a few more steps forward. The forest really was beautiful, even though she hadn't enjoyed it before. The vegetation seemed so alive even when she wasn't.

Veronica felt Jd walk towards her, her back still to him. "No, I'm being serious, you don't know what I know,"

She almost lost it. "I don't know what you know? I know _much_ more than you know, and you know it!"|

"No, you don't get it! Veronica, you aren't safe without-"

"Yes, I am. Why are you suddenly talking now, now that I'm leaving?" she asked, finally turning around. She crossed her arms and starred at Jd's baffled expression. He had no right to be confused, that was for her. She shouldn't have asked him that, she should've just left. But she needed to know the reasons behind his silence. Even if it was a lame excuse, she needed to hear it.

"You don't understand the severity of this situation-"

"Answer my question, Jd! Why were you silent all this time? Was I just a toy for you to play with when bored?!" she yelled, suddenly enraged. God, she just let him use her, and she didn't protest because she was scared. But the fear of a world without him turned slowly turned into a fear of him, a fear of a world that included him next to her. No, she wasn't afraid anymore. He didn't scare her.

"No, Veronica, I swear-" he defended, reaching out to her.

"Cause it seems like I was! It really fucking seems like you were using me, and couldn't be bothered to say a word!" she yelled, slapping his hand off of her arm.   
  
  


"Veronica, please, just listen, I wasn't using you, I love you and I- no, _we_ need to keep each other safe, so just hear me out-"

"I won't listen! I'm leaving." Veronica cut him off and turned away. She ran as fast as her injured leg could take her (which was not very fast. Jd followed behind, and Veronica could feel him catching up. "Leave me alone!"

"Veronica, they'll find you!" he yelled, pulling her back by the arm.

"Who are _they?"_ she asked, partially knowing the answer.

"Veronica, Kurt and Ram, and the Heathers are more dangerous-" he started, a look of concern on his face, distorted by the moonlight.

"I know them, I'm friends with them! They wouldn't hurt me!" she yelled, prying his hands off of her. Just like she should have done every night since they left.  
  


Veronica was so immersed in her current situation, she forgot _why_ she left, and why she couldn't go back. Why she had no one on the island anymore. How she lost Mac, whatever weird friendship she had with H and her... acquaintanceship with Heather? She lost that, all she really had was Jd... Jd who was yelling at her in the dark of night, a crazed expression on his face, words of pleading on his lips.

"You don't know that!" he yelled.

"Yes, I do!" she rebutted, at the end of her last nerve

"Just because you think _they_ won't hurt you doesn't mean others won't,"

"We are on a fucking deserted island, Jd! I can fight for myself!" she screamed. Others? He was going

"They're dangerous!"  
  
  


"No, they are not!"

"I'm not talking about the Heathers and Ram and shit, Veronica!" Jd fired back. It must have been an odd sight, two teenagers, covered in some sort of dirt, hair matted, screaming at each other

"Then who? We are alone in the middle of nowhere- who? Who?!!!"

"Damn it, Veronica- we aren't alone!"

"I know, Heather and Mac and-" Veronica was cut off mid-thought.

Jd stopped. He stared at her and started laughing. It began small, just a chuckle. But soon he was throwing his head back, as Veronica looked at him, assuming he was insane. "No, oh my god, you really don't get it, you dumb fuck! Veronica-"

*

Mac trailed her fingers across the moss growing on a tree in the forest. She'd only been walking for 5 minutes, but she had expected to see some sign of the two. Maybe roped branches or carved trees- people do that, right? Mac had told the group that she was going to find more kindling for their fire, so she had to move fast. Heather wanted to kill Veronica and Jd for not cooperating with her, so she could only imagine she would receive the same treatment. Damn it, when did highschool pranks turn into murder?

Each step was quick and careful. She wanted to move fast so no one could catch up to her, but she couldn't miss anything. There must be a sign, somewhere in this forest, of Veronica. God, not only did she need Veronica to help to get off this island, but she needed her alive. As much as she resented her for leaving them all, Veronica was still a friend. And she treated Mac better than H and Heather did, or at least Heather. So she needed her alive, and she needed her willing. Willing. That may be the hard part.

It was obvious to everyone on the island that Jd and Veronica were at least a little into each other. I mean, they caught them wrapped in each other's arms weeks ago, and according to Kurt, they did fuck. And to be honest, they probably did again when they ran off into the forest because Veronica was embarrassed. Another annoying thing, she couldn't take responsibility for her actions. But it wasn't time to hate on Veronica, Mac realized, it was time to find her. She needed to find her, somehow get her away from her psychotic boyfriend, and convince her to leave. It wouldn't take much convincing to leave the island, but Mac knew it would be hard to get her to leave Jd. Still, she needed to try. She couldn't let Veronica give up on her life for some stupid boy she'll never remember.

Heather walked for another ten minutes and was close to giving up. Had she headed in the completely wrong direction? Did she just make a mistake that would cost her life? Heather sat down against a huge tropical tree and basically collapsed. Her legs were tired, her arms sore, and her brain was fried. Why did this have to happen to her? Mac sighed and traced over the dark brown bark with her fingers. It was so smooth, so unlike the big oak trees back home in Sherwood. Not to mention, it was twice the size. She continued to run her fingers on the smooth, cool wood when there was a disturbance.

_JD + VS = ♡_

There it is. Carved into the tree, Mac had received her first hint from the universe. They were out there, and they were close by. Did they leave more of these? Is there a trail? Mac shot up and inspected the message. She knew Veronica's handwriting, and that wasn't it. Granted, she could assume any form of handwriting she wanted at any given moment, but why forge in the middle of a forest, where no one can see you? No, it wasn't Veronica. Probably Jd. Jd needed to carve their initials into a tree to say something. What?

That they would withstand time? That she was his? To carve their names into a tree didn't seem like something he would do unless he wanted someone to see it. And if he wanted someone to see it, he wanted someone to find them. It was intentional. Or was it?

She was reading too deeply into the carving. They were stupid teenagers who thought they were in love, and they carved it into a tree to solidify it. But little did they know, they had dug their own grave. Or, Jd's grave. Veronica and her would escape and live. The plan was good. So Heather walked away from the tree in the direction of the carving, hoping to see another. Or maybe one of their makeshift bowls, a ripped up leaf, a sharpened stick. They clearly didn't live with on waste, so occasional items should be scattered in their direction. But as she walked, Mac found none.

Wait. There. A tree about 20 feet away had another carving. Yes, another clue! Mac ran towards it and inspected. Dumbfounded with the results, her eyebrows twisted. What?

_JD + VS = ✕_

_X?_ Why on earth would Jd and Veronica carve that? Heather kneeled in front of the words and let her hands roam. Again, not Veronica's handwriting. She ould only assume this meant that Jd had written it, though she didn't know what his looked like. Heather pressed her forehead against the trees, begging the universe to just deliver her to Veronica. No, to just deliver them back home, all of them. They were just stupid teenagers on a stupid boat trying to stay afloat, why had this happened?

"Then who? We are alone in the middle of nowhere- who? Who?!!!"

Heather gasped and stood up. That was Veronica's voice. Veronica! And she was yelling, presumedly at Jd. Heather didn't know the context, but she needed to hear more. She needed to know if Veronica was in danger. So she scootched behind the tree and listened carefully. They seemed to be yelling about the others on the island. Mac didn't know what the problem was, but they seemed really pissed. Jd started laughing like a maniac, and Mac was slightly scared, to tell the truth. She heard his voice ring out into the otherwise empty forest.

"No, oh my god, you really don't get it, you dumb fuck!" he screamed, his voice a mix of delight, annoyance, and... fear? What did big bad Jd have to be afraid of, there weren't any predators on the island, besides him of course. The silence in the air was abundant, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife. Jd's laughter died down, and he slapped his knee. "Veronica- sweet Veronica. I thought you were smarter than this! I tried to tell you so many times. I told you whenever I looked at you, whenever I kissed you, whenever I held you. And you just didn't get it!"

"Get what Jd?" Veronica fired back, her voice filled with fury. "I know everything- I know that you were using me-"

"No! Veronica- there are other survivors!"


	10. Silenced

Mac wanted to throw up. Not in the way H always did, this was different. Deep in her core, a mixture of fear and disgust brewed, sending shivers down her spine. Goosebumps rose on her arms as she pressed her back deeper into the tree, hoping she was unseeable. She needed to hear Jd. There was a deep pause, only accompanied by mumbled swears from Jd as he paced back in forth, his head in his hands. He'd never been in such distress.

"What- what are you talking about? W-who?" Veronica stuttered. Mac knew the feeling. She was in shock, didn't want to know what Jd was going to say. But Mac couldn't bring herself to leave. Fuck, more survivors? Jd made it sound like they were criminals from a comic, the way his voice trembled. Veronica was confused, not sure if Jd was lying in some attempt to convince her to stay, or if it was the truth, and he'd been hiding something massive. Would Jd lie about this? She knew how much he wanted to protect her, even if he went overboard sometimes, that was always his intention. Had this all just been that? Trying to keep her safe?

"Veronica, it doesn't matter. I'm telling you, everything I've done was to keep you safe, but now I fucked it up. Damn it, if they know that you know-"

"Who is they?!" Veronica interrupted him, needing to know. A million thoughts circulated in her head without direction. His dad? Some random people? Why did Jd seem so afraid of them, they were just as stranded as the rest. How could they possibly hurt her? Why hadn't Jd told her before? Where are they, are they near? Had Jd and her done all they did in the dead of night with people breathing down their necks?

Veronica shuddered. What could she make up this? She was half sure it was all a lie. But the other half, one with hope, was alone at the back of her mind, punching her skull to let it out. How could she trust Jd after all that he'd done? She made the mistake of forgiving him once, and she wouldn't do it again.

"Veronica, not the point! The point is I have to tell you something about that boat that might freak you out, and then we have to leave. God, ok, you know what, we need to do that raft thing- if they know I know, and they know you know-" Jd rambled when he was cut off. Not by Veronica. Mac took a deep breath to ready her self and stood up from behind the tree.

"Stop it. Stop your rambling, you need to tell us what you know as we build this boat," she said, all too calmly for the situation. In front of her, Veronica and Jd stood, their mouths agape. Veronica's expression was only this- pure shock. Jd, however, had anger in his eyes. A fire, that was growing more than a flame. And Mac was not excited about it.

"How long were you there?" he asked, stepping towards the tall girl. Mac tried to stand up straight and look him in the eyes, but she knew that she had not only crossed a line but apparently put herself in danger.

"Long enough. Spill. Veronica and I will find some logs."

*

"Ok, so first we need to make the frame of the raft- is there any bamboo? That would work best," Veronica instructed as the there teenagers scrambled for materials. Jd still hadn't explained anything, but they all mutually agreed that it could wait. Even if he was lying about it all, they would still be leaving the island. After all, what did they have to lose?

"Um, maybe? I think I saw something similar, I'll go check," Mac mumbled, feeling slightly guilty about the obvious rift she caused between Jd and Veronica. Jd had told Veronica there was no way in hell a Heather was coming with him, but Veronica defended her. She said if Mac wasn't on the raft, neither was she. 

In truth, Heather had expected Jd to kill her. Or kill Veronica. But he had just stared at his- girlfriend? Hostage? Who knows- for a long time, before asking if she was serious. She nodded, saying he needed to either let Heather come with them, or he needed to let her go. Jd thankfully chose the latter.

As Mac left, Jd turned to Veronica, who was busy gathering as much food as possible into as sack made from the material of her old dress. "Ronnie, it'll take longer to build a raft for three people-"

"It'll take longer if you don't help me! Please just put your feelings aside and go find more vines before we all get murdered!" Veronica yelled, her eyes closed. She was clearly on edge, and if Jd annoyed her once more with his ridiculous antics about leaving Mac to die, she might just kill herself first. In the days where Jd refused to talk to her, she had entertained herself with stocking up on food, practically drying the forest of any berries. They had enough of the roots, plants, berries, and wild boar to last them a really long time, but she wasn't sure if they should bring all of it. They already had three people on board what was sure to be a rickety excuse for a ship, the extra weight wouldn't help.

Jd obliged to her wishes and had come back with a few handfuls of the strong vines. Mac was right behind him, holding an absurd amount of bamboo-like sticks. "Are these ok, 'Ronica?" she asked as she dropped them on the floor. Veronica took a closer look. They weren't bamboo, but they were just as lightweight, and they seemed even stronger. Damn, if this isaldn wasn't full of supposed crazies, you could really make a nice life here.

"Yeah, Mac, thanks. Help me tie these together- yeah, in a square- this one goes under this one..."

Veronica tied a few of the sticks together frantically with Mac, their fingers working as fast as possible. Shit, the raft needed to have a really large surface area to support all of them. Oh, double shit, they needed paddles or something. Oh lord, this would take days, even if they worked consistently. They were doomed.

"Jd, this will take forever if we want it to work. I am not floating above shark-infested waters in a rickety ten-minute raft. Please, tell us what's going on so we can figure it out," she pleaded, her eyes wide with worry. Her deep brown hair fell over her face as she gave Jd her best puppy dog eyes.

Jd scoffed. "If I tell you, you'll be in more danger. You can't know, Veronica," he stated, clearly not up for negotiations. Mac saw her chance.

"So tell me. I won't tell Veronica, and you don't give a shit if I die. So tell me, and I'll help," she offered. Jd silently considered, realizing she had a point. He actually wanted her dead, and her knowledge could help protect Veronica.

"Fine. Veronica, you stay here," Jd said with a look, and he and Mac made their way into the forest.

Oh, FUCK no. "The hell you are! I don't need protection, and if you're telling her, you're telling me!" she yelled, struggling to follow them. Her leg, despite the last trauma to it occurring months before, had never healed properly. As time went on, it became more and more painful to try and stand on. So as Veronica limped her way over, heat splintered from her knee to her toes. "Oh, fuck," she said as she fell, her leg giving into the pain. "Please just tell me," she pleaded.

Jd looked at her in pure pity. He wanted to help her, but there was something that could hurt her more. "I'm sorry, Ronnie, please just stay there. Please," he begged, looking down at the girl on the floor. She crossed her arms in defeat.

"Fine, whatever. You have to tell me eventually," she remarked as she slid back to the raft, starting to add a floor.

Jd and Heather walked a considerable distance before Jd decided Veronica couldn't hear. "Ok, before I say anything, if you mutter so much as a word of this to Veronica, I'll slit your throat," he said, glaring the girl down. Mac was a nervous person, but being a Heather, she knew how to hold her own.

She smiled. "But of course,"

"Ok. My dad was the head engineer of the boat. He was in charge of keeping everything in order, making sure shit like this didn't happen. He was an alcoholic. Ever since I was a kid, the guy would get blackout drunk practically every other night. Uh, when my mom was alive, and we were all on the boat, she tried to help him not drink on the job. When she was gone, he did it more. He stopped paying much attention to the engine or the safety controls, starting smoking and dozing off during his shifts. As you can guess, captain didn't like that too much.

"I'm not sure if you know, but Kurt's dad is Captain, and Ram's is Commander. They uh, they didn't like my family too much. The only reason my dad was able to keep his job was because the owner of the ship owed him a favor. So, bam. We crash. I wake up on this stupid island with you Heathers and Ram, Veronica and Kurt nowhere in sight. Everyone else is passed out, but you have pulses. So I explore the forest a bit, I go really deep. Took me all day. I got to the other side, where the island ends. I'm just checking stuff out, seeing if there are any other survivors, when I hear them.

"Three men. Kurt's dad, captain, Ram's dad, commander, and lieutenant commander, who I'm sure you know,"

"Heather's dad..." Mac trailed off, horrified.

"Yep. They were chatting, I hid behind a tree. Kinda like your stunt. The ship crashed cause the engine went down and it hit an iceberg. Very Titanic. But the ship would have been fine if someone was there to manage the engine, but whoop-de-do, my dad was nowhere to be found! And you know what else was mysteriously missing? Every single life jacket and lifeboat available to the public. As the three heads of the ship, of course they had extra survival supplies in their offices, just in case. So here they were, on the same island as me, vowing to destroy what was left of my dad. That's when they saw me.

"It went about as well as expected. They literally threatened to kill me there, when I tried to compromise. I told them I could help them find something they desperately needed., in exchange for three months.I told them if I could do it, they would have to leave me and anyone else alone. They agreed. So I tried to find little ways to get them what they needed; their children. I had a plan to murder Kurt, but Veronica convinced me not to. I agreed, only because his dad probably wanted him alive. I got so close to killing you all, Veronica held me back. But my plans were set to kidnap them, return them to their parents, and kill you and the other Heather. Then Veronica and I would live together forever here, build our city," he explained, grinning at Mac's glare.

"You- you sadistic bastard!" she exclaimed, outraged at how psychopathic the boy standing in front of her truly was.

"Yes, I know. But, there was a ripple in my plans. Oh, a large one. Kurt went and almost raped Veronica, lots of sexual harassment. Of course, I went crazy, and I saw red. My fists just made their way to him, ya know?"

Heather gave him a look of confusion. "Wait, Kurt said you had a threesome. You heard him, swordfight in her mouth, bent her over like origami-" Heather started before she was cut off by a scoff by Jd.

"He was just embarrassed that I beat him up and Veronica didn't want him. He made it up, Veronica never had sex with _him._ Heather humiliated her, you and H laughed, Kurt and Ram spread lies. Her shirt was ripped, she was in tears, I rescued her from you assholes. So my plans changed. I could no longer let you all live. So I stayed with Veronica for weeks, counting the days, making sure I didn't go over three months. I had no direction, I wasn't sure what to do. I was lost, I was scared. One day, I left Veronica while she was sleeping, and I visited the other survivors.

"I told them I needed more time. We had a week before the three-month mark, and I couldn't let them live. Couldn't let them be happy. I needed more time to devise a plan. But they didn't like that. Told me I had one week to get them what I said I had before they killed me and anyone with me. They had guns, I should probably have mentioned. Yeah, that's important. Guns. I told them about almost everyone. I said there were more survivors, left out the part of who the survivors were. Told 'em I'd tarnish their reputations if we ever got rescued, I'd say they threatened to shoot me. That's when things got ugly.

"They told me if anyone on this island ever found out about them, they'd kill them too. Joked about having a hostage, even. I told them I would get it to them in three weeks, and I ran off. I stayed silent, I didn't talk to Veronica. I was so worried that it would slip, they would hurt her, and she would be gone. But at night, I never let go. I was paranoid, a man possessed. I was screwed and I almost gave up. That's when Veronica freaked out.

"She didn't know what was going on. She was upset that I was silent with her, upset that I gripped her so hard at night I left bruises, she thought I was using her for sex and makeout sessions. I wasn't, I swore to her, but she didn't believe me. And my worst fear came true in the heat of an argument- I let it slip. I told her about the survivors, and suddenly she was at risk. She knew. And they were going to find her and kill her, somehow. Then you showed up, and the rest is history. So, in short from that crazy ten-minute rant, we pretty much have a week left before we all get shot to death by angry ex-coworkers of my dad, or worse," Jd said, alarmingly casually, ending with a shrug. Heather felt faint.

"Oh my- that's, that's a lot to take in. Ok. Um, I'll process it all later, but it sounds like we need to help Veronica out with the raft so we can get the fuck out of here," Mac said, clutching her heart.

Jd nodded. "Agreed."

*

"Ok, and we need paddles too- Jd, please use your hands for something productive!" Veronica scolded as she rapidly secured different area's of the raft, picking up Jd's hands from her thighs and dropping them to the ground. Jd pouted. "Aren't you the one telling me that we'll all die if we don't get off this island, like asap? And you won't even tell me why..."

Jd just smirked, not giving in to her puppy dog eyes. "But Ronnie, don't you want to have fun one last time before we meet our watery graves?" he asked, and Veronica nudged him away.

"Right here, guys!" Mac called as she tied together five of the huge leaves to use as the head of a paddle.

"It's fine, would've been a no anyway. I've been feeling really sick, I puked my guts out when you two mysteriously disappeared to talk about some secret survivors and have forest sex or something," she remarked, continuing to focus at the task at hand.

Jd faked gagged. "Never say that, gross. But really, are you ok, babe?" he asked gently taking her face in his hand. She turned away.

"I'm fine. Don't call me that."

Jd was at a loss. His attempts at protecting Veronica had failed, and now she was pissed at him, making sex jokes about him and Mac, and she was sick. What a shitty situation. He sighed. "I'm worried about you, Ronnie-"

"Oh! Cause everyone's sooooo worried about _fragile Veronica_ who'll break at any moment! Let me finish the floor of this fucking raft so we can escape whatever insane situation you got us into!" she yelled, suddenly feeling herself snap. Woah, she didn't expect that.

"Veronica, are you ok?" he asked seriously, putting the back of his hand on her forehead. She shivered, and he looked on concerningly. "You aren't usually this... moody," he said.

Veronica stared at him for a moment, her bottom lip trembling before a dam exploded in her eyes. She had no idea what was happening, why she was so snappy and sad. She just wanted to build this boat and get off this island, goddammit. Jd hugged her as she continued to sob for no apparent reason. Mac and he looked at each other, worried and confused. 

"I'll, um, go find some more sticks."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH, the plot has set! Did you guys get any of the subtle hints, like Jd constantly drawing in the dirt (marking the days for when three months has passed), or how he kept disappearing into the woods? I tried to make them small but noticeable if you were to read it again. Thanks so much for reading, the best is yet to come!


	11. Revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was watching Mama Mia; Here We Go Again, and I had watched it before, but that was before I knew Heathers, and when the camera frame got to young Tonya, it was like BOOM Heather Chandler and I was so shocked lmao

Heather Chandler was not a bitch to be messed with. Or, at least, she _wasn't_ a bitch to be messed with. Back in the real world, a glare of her's towards practically anyone could send shivers down their spines and have them on their knees, ready to do her bidding. It was addicting, the kind of power that came with being so damn influential. The world was at her feet, and Heather Chandler would gladly grind it to sand with her red-bottomed heels. In short, her power was so godly, that she never questioned it.

Until now, of course. Veronica disobeying her request to go back to the room, way back when they were on the boat, was the first domino to fall in Heather Chandler's drop from the top. Veronica was the first person to ever stand up to her, to not back down. She saw a glint in her eyes, like a fear dying away. Veronica probably didn't notice it, but that was the moment where she decided to not be controlled by Heather anymore. And Heather could tell. She was not happy.

But it wasn't a big deal once they crashed. She did her bidding, they all listened to her, as things should be. But Veronica stood up to her again. Heather didn't even remember what had happened, just that the little bitch was on the ground, pathetic, making Heather look like a fool. And the worst part was, Heather couldn't be mad. It eat away at her brain, how little she actually cared about it. In reality, she felt... damn it, she respected Veronica. No one stood up to Heather, ever. She silently craved that sort of discipline, believe it or not. not even her own parents cared enough to yell at her when she came home blackout drunk, or when she was suspended for bullying, or when she brought random college boys home to fuck in her bed. No one ever cared enough to stand up to her, until Veronica. 

But her power! She couldn't give it up, without it, she wasn't Heather Chandler. She was nothing, a nobody, someone else. So she put Veronica in ger place. And she would do it again a million times.

Then Jesse James ruined it all. He robbed them, and Heather needed revenge. She probably wouldn't have actually killed Veronica, just left her on the island to suffer. She wasn't _that_ cruel. But as soon as she pitched her plan, a last-ditch effort to gain back her recent loss of control, they turned their backs on her. Told her she had no more power. She became what she feared most: a nobody.

And it all escalated with that little bitch, Heather McNamara.

It was different when Veronica had left. She was only a Heather for a few months, and she wasn't _really_ one of them. Too smart, too short, too nerdy. But she was useful, and pretty enough, so they kept her. McNamara, however, was a full-blooded Heather. It was in her name! Head cheerleader, pretty, tall, popular. Ever since the Heathers band together in 5th grade, she was right by their side, decked out in yellow. To abandon them when they needed each other the most- well, it was practically treason.

Even though Heather didn't want to admit it, she had a reason for leaving. Heather had never been so over the top bitchy before, not even when her Tyra Banks kicked off her favorite model! No, Heather had been a monster the few days before Mac had runoff. And if she was in her position, she would've done the same damn thing. And that was what was angering her.

So now the murder plan was kind of off. She was focusing on surviving, keeping the fire alive, and keeping the remaining three in line. It proved to be difficult, as Kurt and Ram were literally children, but she made it work. She had to make compromises, of course, like letting H have some freedom. She didn't want her to run off like Mac and Veronica, so she hadn't told her to shut up all week, and she let her talk about how much she missed reading for almost 20 minutes. That, if you couldn't tell, was some major fucking friendship progress.

But now she needed Mac back. And she needed Veronica too. Her world had been... bland without her fire. Red dawn over there can choke on some poison berries and die. She didn't give a flying fuck.

But Heather Chandler needed her power back. And she was going to get it.

*

Veronica wasn't asleep. It was her shift to sleep, but she didn't. Every three hours, the trio would rotate in and out, two people working and one sleeping. This went on the whole, night, and it was a pretty effective system; except for the fact that Veronica wasn't sleeping. She didn't want to be awake- she was tired as fuck- but the universe seemed to have a different idea for her. She tossed and turned in the night, silently waiting for her eyes to shut and drift away.

They never did. Veronica sighed. Despite it all, she longed for times even just days ago. Sure, she felt like a prisoner, but it was better than feeling completely alone. No, that's really messed up. Veronica sighed. It was the truth, though. Disgustingly so.

Realizing that her time lying on the floor and not sleeping was just time wasted, Veronica left the shelter. Jd and Mac had made good progress with the bottom of the raft, the arch looking quite sturdy. Veronica kneeled next to Jd and started helping the two tie a broken stick back together. "Veronica, you should be sleeping," Jd said softly, gazing at her dark circles in the moonlight.

"Couldn't sleep. I can't- I- I can't-" Veronica tried to start before she sprinted further into the woods. She kneeled over, holding a tree for support, as she threw up. It had been happening for too much for comfort, and Veronica was worried she got some sort of untreatable tropical flu. Jd quickly followed, holding her hair out of her face and rubbing circles on her back. Veronica hadn't even felt sick before, it all just came suddenly.

"It's ok... it's ok..." Veronica barely heard Jd say due to the ringing in her ears. But as soon as it started, it was over. She sat up, wiping her mouth, dazed. What was going on with her lately? This was an awful time to get sick- if she had accidentally poisoned herself, she would be made a mockery of in whatever afterlife there was.

"I have no idea what that was, I don't even feel sick..." she explained as she turned to face Jd.

"Well, just rest, we'll give you extra time. You've been getting sick a lot lately, is there like a bird virus or something you contracted?" Jd asked, a bit of humor in his voice, trying to lighten the mood. Veronica didn't respond with any.

"No, I'm fine, I think it's just the heat. Um, we're almost finished, we should leave today. I- we need to get off this island," Veronica said, running back to the site. Jd followed her, hands behind his neck. He didn't want to think about his theory as to what is going on. Damn it, it was just a bird flu. It had to be just a bird flu.

"Are you ok, Ronnie?" Mac asked the shorter girl, concerned.

Veronica nodded. "Yeah. The raft is done now, we have our food, our paddles, the water- do we need anything else?" she asked, assessing all of their supplies. A shit ton of berries, plants, and roots, five wooden bottles that Mac had carved, filled with water from the stream, two sets of paddles so they can actually move, and a sad excuse for a boat. But it was a boat, and Veronica had done the calculations: it would float. So what were they waiting for?

*

Two days more. The kid had nothing, they could tell. But they gave him the benefit of the doubt, gave him three weeks to get whatever 'thing they desperately needed'. The boat? Their children? His dad so they can kick his ass? There were very limited options, and all three of them were off the table because they were all at the bottom of the ocean. This kid was full of shit, stalling, trying to come up with something to give them. He was dead, and they were amused.

A rescue helicopter was coming in about a week, hopefully. Paul Kelly had an extra radio in his emergency pack, and he had been trying to get a signal for weeks. Luckily, Bill Sweeney was somewhat of a techy, and he sent an SOS signal to the nearest ship. Whether it was received, they didn't know. Paul wasn't sure he cared.

He hadn't always seen eye to eye with his son. He wasn't the most present father, they were never very close. But the emptiness that Paul felt after losing his only son and wife was so excruciating, he barely had any motivation to continue. Dennis Chandler and Bill had also lost everything in that crash, and it ate them alive. They needed someone to blame, but the someone they had to blame was dead. Sunk. Gone.

But his son wasn't. Whatever his name was, Jason. Big Bud Dean's son was alive, and he obviously had company. They caught him lurking, hiding, listening in. Damn it, Paul wanted nothing more than to cave his skull in, get some revenge for what his dad took away. Everything. Everything.

But when the boy cut him a deal, he was intrigued. Let him live for three months, you get something invaluable. Bill, Paul, and Dennis agreed, knowing that they would get their revenge sooner or later. He had his gun, he had his anger, all this scrawny kid has was some other survivor (probably a girl, judging by the way he tensed up when they threatened them) and anxiety. They could destroy him, get off this island, and then what?

Go back home to the wife and kids? Nope. Back to their jobs. Nope again. With nothing to lose, they sunk deeper and deeper into a pit of darkness.

Until now. Three more days till revenge. Three more days until the anger has somewhere else to go, instead of being bottled up in their chests, banging, banging, banging. They never heard their children scream, but their brains made them. Horror filled screeches interrupted by a watery grave.

That kid was dead, and anyone with him too.

*

"Ok, I guess this is it. Say bye to this hell-hole, bitches!" Veronica yelled, flipping off the trees. The stocked boat was on the water, just waiting for the passengers.

"Wait, I need to use the restroom," Mac said. "I'll be right back!" she yelled as she ran back into the forest. Typical Heather to say 'restroom' when she meant tree.

Mac walked through the trees, carefully picking a good distance away from the others. Guilt had been pinging in her heart for ages, but now it was at an all-time high. Her best friends, who had been with her through everything, we left on the island. She told herself that they would send a rescue mission to them once they got to land, but who knew? A million things could happen to them before that- a million things could have already happened. And she was such a shitty friend, she would never know.

But didn't she deserve a chance? A chance for a better life, outside of this stupid island? And if she had to abandon the people she loved most to get that, she would do it. Not happily, but she would make any sacrifice necessary do just escape. And if that made her a horrible person, then so be it.

Mac finished her business and made her way back. The guilt quickly mixed with excitement and nervousness as she thought about the journey ahead. They could get lost at sea, rescue, eaten by a shark. The possibilities were endless, and most of them fatal. But, they had a better chance of surviving at sea than surviving with a bullet in the back of their heads. Mac was almost out of the forest when she heard an audible gasp behind her.

"Mac?"

H stood behind Mac, her hand over her mouth. She was alive. Oh my gosh. "H, how did you find me?!" she whispered quickly, looking around. H would never run off without Heather, which means the demon queen was near.

"Oh my- oh god- Mac, she's coming for you. She's going to kill you all, or have Kurt and Ram do it- she told us. She's here, Mac- Mac, you have to run. Run!" she softly screamed, her eyes darting between Mac's frantically.

Heather Chandler's voice rang clear and cold through the forest. "H, where the hell are you? Did you find them?"

Mac's heart stopped beating, her blood froze. She betrayed H, what would stop her from betraying her right back? H was always pettier, always more vindictive. Mac might as well start counting her prayers, she was about to be trampled to death by her majesty.

"No. I'll be right over,"

Tears fell down H's face as she grabbed the shoulders of the taller girl and shook. "You have to leave. Please, Mac, run. Run!" she hissed softly, pain in her voice. This was it. This was the last time she would see her best friend.

Mac grabbed H's face, tear's forming in her own eyes. "You're beautiful, I love you,"

And with that, she ran.

*

"Get on the boat, get on the fucking boat!" Mac yelled at Veronica and Jd, sprinting at them from the forest. "They're close. H covered for me but they're close and they're going to kill us, get on the boat!" she yelled, stepping in, and grabbing Veronica's hand. She helped her in, and Jd followed.

"Ok, ok, we're going. Grab these paddles, Mac, let's get out of this place," Jd quickly said, as they pushed off the ground, into the unknown.

For what seemed like an hour, they would rotate paddles, and head straight away from the island. None of them had any idea where they were headed, but they didn't care. When they finally lost sight of the island, Mac cried out.

"It's gone!" she screamed, her hands extended to the sky, her head tilted back. The salty spray of the ocean tickled her skin, the waves rocking their boat. _Freedom. This is what it feels like._

"I can't believe we just left H and Heather and Kurt and Ram to die..." Veronica said with a sniffle, handing her paddles to Mac.

Jd slung an arm around her shoulder. "Cheer up, babe, at least things can't get worse! We're pretty much at rock bottom!" he said with alarming enthusiasm. Veronica held back her tears, which were for some reason fighting to get out when she remembered a pressing issue.

"Hey, you never told me why we had to leave in the first place," she said, cocking an eyebrow.

Jd sighed. This would be one long boat trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand they're off! Ladies and gents, let the sea travel commence!


	12. Concealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I shouldn't write fanfics at 4:00 am? Hm, well, enjoy this monstrosity!

It wasn't a very slow spiral into insanity for Paul Kelly. No, it felt like an avalanche: quick, powerful, unable to be stopped. Sometimes he heard his wife singing, singing the nursery rhymes that she would use to get Kurt to fall asleep. If he closed his eyes and really, _truly_ listened, Paul could hear Kurt's voice in the distance, yelling or laughing and just talking. He wished with all of him that it was real, that it wasn't just his mind playing cruel tricks on him. But alas, that was just what was happening. These days, his mind seemed to be his worst enemy.

He had looked for Jd and whoever he was with all day. Behind every tree, under every rock, he searched for a hint of the boy. "Times up, Bud, times up," he would whisper, gun held so tightly in his hand, he thought it might snap. "Times up, Bud, times up."

There is a fine line between wanting revenge on someone and being obsessed with the idea of payback, of getting even, and Paul was balancing on in. His mind played tricks, his heartbeat larder and harder every minute he was alone, and his soul ached for a different time. A time where Big Bud Dean had never walked the earth. A time where he could hold his wife's hand, where he could cheer his son on as he made a touchdown.

Those times were gone. Paul, Bill, and Dennis had searched the entire forest and had only found their bases. It was clear what happened: they knew they would be dead by morning, so they built a makeshift boat and sailed away, probably to certain death. Even though he had a feeling of the boy's fate, he still felt cheated. _He_ wanted to be the one to pull the trigger, to end a life like his dad had. TO kill the son of a killer.

He never got the chance. But when he heard voices outside of the woods, he realized there may be another one.

*

"Ok, so in short, you lied to me about everything, manipulated me multiple times, lied to me some more, then dragged me into the middle of the ocean?!"

Veronica Sawyer was at the end of her patience. She had been snapping at both Mac and Jd throughout the entire story, angered by their lack of trust in her abilities. Sure, she couldn't really walk, and she definitely couldn't run, but that didn't matter if there were guns involved! No one could outrun those anyway! They had no reason for not telling her, besides Jd's dumb ass savior complex that followed him around like a shadow. 

Jd cringed at her blunt recap of the story but slowly nodded. "Kind of? Please don't be mad, baby, I was-"

"I told you not to call me that!" she yelled, throwing her head into her hands. Her mood had been up and down lately, most likely a symptom of stress. Jd looked taken aback, and Mac focused her attention on the water. "I'm sorry. I'm just stressed, that's all. I can't think of anything but our impending doom and it's bumming me out," she said, flicking at her nails. If she thought that the forest was boring, she was seriously mistaken.

Jd smiled. "Let's do something to pass the time. Anyone want to tell a fun story? Doesn't have to be real, real life is boring," he said, his eyes glinting with excitement and boredom, simultaneously. 

Mac's eyes shot up from the waves. "Oh, do you guys want to hear a story from school? Veronica, I can't believe I never told you this!

"So one day after cheer practice, me and some of the girls went to ice cream, and me and Ellie, we headed for the bathroom- you know Ellie, Veronica, yeah?- well, we were going to go to the bathroom to fix our hair, cause practice, and stuff, when this guy with a Remmington shirt approached me, and he was all like 'you're Heather and Veronica's friend, right?', and he was HOT! I was so shocked he knew you two!

"So I said yes, and we started talking, then he pulled out his phone, so I thought he would ask for my number. But, he was like 'can I have the brunette chicks number? she was really hot'. I was confused, cause both you and H have brown hair, so I was like 'Heather or Veronica?' and he was all 'Heather's a blonde'. So I had to explain to him that there were three Heathers, and that got all complicated, but I eventually figured out that he wanted your number, Veronica.

"But he didn't really seem like your type- though who are we kidding, you didn't have a type, the only boy you would actually go on a date with was that weird skater who was a grade older than you, who you for some reason dated for two years even though his hair was always messy, and he reeked of cigarettes-"

"Don't talk about Ashton like that! He was really sweet until-" Veronica interrupted Mac, just to be interrupted by her.

"Yeah yeah, tragic story of drugs and a move to Chicago- no one cares. So yeah, he looked way too normal for you to date, since you evidently only fall for psychopaths, *ahem*, Jd, so I thought it would really funny if I pranked him. So me and Ellie gave him Heather's number and told him he should call you now. So he got on the phone, and we were holding back laughs, it was so funny, he was nervous!  
  
  


"Ok, so he started with the usual crap, told the you that wasn't you that was actually Heather that he thought you were hot, and then get this- he asked if you would be into a gangbang!"

Veronica took a double-take. "What?!"

"Yep! And Heather just listened as he went on, because she probably caught on that someone had given him the wrong number as a joke. And he started going off about how he would pay you! Ellie and I had run off and hid in a booth, cause we were laughing so hard, and we facetimed H so she could see it too. Heather told him to meet her in the cemetery at dawn, and they would discuss how much _money_ he would pay you! So I left and met up with H and Heather, and we had this whole thing planned out. Heather convinced these two boys in our grade, Hunter and Carter, to go and scare the dude, even though he was in college, and older than them.

"So we hid behind a gravestone of some guy who died in the 1800s, and we watched it happen. They cornered him, and asked him if this was what he meant when he said gangbang! I covered Heather's mouth, who covered H's mouth, who covered my mouth, and we stopped each other from laughing. The guy looked like he was going to shit his pants, and he ran away so fast! That night we all drove to my house and got drunk. 

"I don't know why we never told you, Heather said you'd freak that a random frat boy wanted you to do that, but it was really funny. But, it was just so _high schoo_ l _._ Like all that mattered was having fun with your friends and drinking and hooking up. We were just kids..." Heather trailed off, ending her story with a small voice. 

Veronica sat in silence for a minute, before breaking out into a fit of giggles, followed by Mac doing the same. "Oh my god, that is just so wrong!" Veronica said, wiping her eyes. "Probably good you didn't tell me, I would've freaked!"

Jd rolled his eyes as he dipped his hand into the water. "Yay, a great story about a guy wanting ten other guys to fuck my girlfriend at the same time!"

"Not your girlfriend anymore," Veronica mumbled.

"Whatever. Have a better story?" he asked her, his eyebrows raised. Veronica thought back to her life before the cruise- what did she do? Well, she dated that one guy in 8th grade and freshman year, she hung out with Martha a bunch, she got recruited to be a Heather in junior year. Nothing super interesting happened to her, she had a pretty average life. Veronica was about to respond with a classic 'i've got nothing' when a wave of nausea hit.

"I'm gonna be sick-" she managed to get out before leaning over the side of the boat, vomiting. She felt a hand hold her hair up, and another on her back, as always. As always, because this happens... frequently? In just a moment after, she felt fine. Like nothing happened.

As she sat up, she felt Jd's eye stare a hole into her stomach. "Your boobs have gotten bigger," he remarked, in a less than sexual way. Veronica rolled her eyes.

"Good to know."

"Oh- you've gained weight, too," Mac added, her eyes holding a secret that Veronica couldn't hear.

The shorter girl scoffed. "Gee, thanks, Mac," she said, leaning back.

"No, Veronica, you never gain weight. H used to be so jealous of that. And we're in the middle of the ocean, you haven't been eating much, you should be losing weight. You're still basically skin and bone from the island... but now you're gaining weight," she said, glancing at Jd. They both knew something she didn't.

Jd covered his mouth. His dad always warned him about something like this happening... how could he have been so dumb? "Holy shit, and you've been throwing up constantly, you've kind of been a mood swinging bitch, and it was only like three weeks ago when we... oh fuck!" he yelled, throwing down his paddles. He grabbed his hair into his hands, his mind screaming at him. Fucking Veronica in the middle of the woods without any protection? Why on earth would he think that would be a good idea?

Veronica caught on quick. She slowly shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. She considered it, of course, but pushed the thought out of her head whenever it entered. No. No, it couldn't be. Jd quickly scootched over to where Veronica was sitting and took her hands in his. "Veronica, when was your last period?" he asked, denial creeping into his every syllable.

Veronica felt dizzy. "Oh my god. Jd- Jd, I'm... oh my god, oh my god, I'm pregnant... I'm pregnant," she said slowly, struggling to get the words across.

Jd fiercely gripped the back of her head and her waist as he hugged her, both of them unable to stop the tears. Veronica full-on sobbing into Jd's shoulder, with nothing to soak up the tears, while Jd kept a death grip on her, holding back his own waterfalls. Mac watched awkwardly, paddling as hard as she could, trying to escape. Try to get them home.

They all just needed to be home.

*

Veronica's head laid at Jd's chest as the night grew increasingly silent. They had all agreed to just sleep that night, as the day had been tiring, emotionally, and physically. Veronica's arms were so sore, they felt as though they would fall off, and her tear ducts had all but dried up. There weren't words to describe how disappointed she was in herself. She had not only put herself on a roller coaster leading into a lava pit when she got on the boat, but she also brought a baby along. _Her_ baby. 

There was no doubt it was Jd's since he was her first and only. But some part of her wished it wasn't. She loved him, of course, but it was a terrifying type of love. Crazy, uncontrollable, that made her want to curl up on him and never leave. That's where she was now, her body asleep, yet her mind awake. She could tell Jd wasn't asleep either, though Mac's snores proved that the taller girl _was._ Pure nothingness bled into Veronica's veins, threatening her with a terrible fate of suicide. She wouldn't do it, but only because she was pregnant. If she wasn't, then she wouldn't hold her breath.

Jd's hands stroked her matted, unwashed hair as Veronica repositioned her head. Shit had hit the fan a million times since she joined the Heathers, but this? This was the worst thing that had happened. Even if she and the baby managed to survive, what then? She'd be the disgrace of Sherwood, pregnant at 17 out of wedlock. Her parents would probably kick her out, and her baby daddy lived who knows where. If she chose to keep the baby, then it was game over from there. The life Veronica had feared since she was little would come true, and she would never leave that town. If she gave the baby up for adoption, she would be free to go to college and live a better life, but at what cost? Her conscious was constantly alive, filling her mind with vile thoughts and threats, and it sure as hell would not let something like that slip. Nope, her own mind would crucify her.

So, she had no options without an eventual horrible death. Wonderful! She closed her eyes, trying to remember how she felt with Jd that one night, went hey first kissed. They didn't care where they were, or who they were with, all that mattered was each other. And now, there was a third party involved (and she wasn't talking about Mac).

"You know I'd never leave you," Jd whispered into her hair, his tone calm and soothing. 

Veronica stayed silent for a moment. Would he? What would stop him from standing up and walking away, off to a better life, with a better girl ( who wasn't pregnant)? No, that wasn't Jd. Jd loved her probably more than she loved him, and he showed it in every single action. Veronica nodded her head. "I know."

"And I love you. I know you're mad at me for not speaking to you, and for being possessive, and for being a jerk, but I love you, Veronica. You're the only person I've ever loved, and I'm so scared of it. I'm scared of everything. But I need you to try and fight. I won't let you do too much paddling, you shouldn't be doing heavy work, but I need you to try your hardest to keep going until we get rescued," Jd said as he sat up, moving Veronica's head to his lap.

The short girl sighed. "Will we ever get out of here?" she asked, the pain in fear that had built up for weeks showing. Would they?

"I don't- yes. Yes, Veronica, I swear I will get you home, even if it kills me. You and our baby, I'll keep you both safe no matter what. Ok? No matter what."

"No matter what." Veronica echoed, the exhaustion from the day finally catching up. "I love you, Jd. I wish I didn't."

"Oh Ronnie, I wish you didn't too."


	13. Disheveled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took like forever, I had writers block. Enjoy!

"Ok, ok, they're gone! They're gone, and now- and now Jd's probably going to murder both Mac and Veronica!" Heather yelled, pacing back and forth in front of the fire. Kurt and Ram had been the ones to find an abandoned site that Jd and Veronica had clearly run off to, based on the fabric of Veronica's old dress they left behind. They assumed Heather had run off with them, even though there wasn't any evidence confirming it.

When Kurt and Ram had arrived at the sight, there were various failed attempts at boats lying on the ground. All of this, combined with the fact that they could not find Jd, Veronica, and Mac _anywhere,_ suggested they were on a boat headed to the bottom of the ocean. Sure, Heather told everyone that she was going to kill them, but that was just a power move, really. Mac had been one of her best friends since practically forever, and Veronica meant a lot to her, despite what Heather told her. And that Jd was surely going to kill them.

"We need to do something! I can't let him kill them!" she yelled, stopping in place to flail her arms upwards. She stared at H, Ram, and Kurt as if they needed to go and swim her back themselves.

H looked at her as if she grew another head. "Weren't you literally _just_ planning to kill them?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Besides, what if they made Jd leave? We don't know if he forced them to go."

Heather scoffed and placed her hands on her hips. "First of all, dumbass, I wasn't _actually_ going to murder my best friends! Second of all, Jd gives off scary murderer rapist vibes, and Veronica and mac couldn't hurt a fly! Well, maybe Mac, but he'd probably still. beat her in a fight. He almost killed Kurt for no reason, remember?" she spat, kicking dirt from the ground. Damn it, Jesse James ruined her life _again._

Kurt raised his hand nervously as if he was a student in a classroom. "What?!" Heather shrieked, closing her eyes and stomping her foot. The nerve of these idiots-

"Uh, I don't like him either, but he did _not_ beat me up, that fight was clearly a tie. And Jd couldn't have made a boat by himself, Veronica's the one who knows how to do all that. Are we just going to ignore the fact that no planes or helicopters have come by, at all? They have a better chance of making it out of here than us..." Kurt trailed off, leaning back onto his arms.

He was right. As much as Heather hated to admit it, that bitch was fucking correct. "I really just want to go home..." she said, sitting down cross-legged. Her sudden and very unusual show of vulnerability, shocked even her, but it didn't matter. Maybe she did like her life. And maybe she missed her parents, her friends, everything. Maybe she actually had a heart, even if no one bothered to look for it.

Heather wanted to run off, to leave. No one bothered to figure out anything about her. They knew she was hot and powerful and clever, and that's all they needed to know. Suddenly, Heather felt a hand on her's. H.

"We'll get you out of here. We'll all get out of here."

*

"How do we know if we're even going in the right direction?" Mac bugged Jd for the fifth time that day. Boy, if he had a gun...

"We don't! I told you, I'm kind of just guessing!" he snapped, paddling extra rough, practically slapping the water. Veronica had been nagging him to let her paddle, Mac had been nagging him for a million other things, and he was at the ends of his wit.

Veronica hadn't spoken for a while but piped up when she heard this. "Um, we should be heading North, right? I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, I think that's the North star," she said, pointing to a particularly bright star in the speckled sky. Jd stared at the star for a moment, the bright white of it a beautiful contrast upon the midnight blue canvas that was the sky, before he started to nod.

"Yeah, I think it is. The island was tropical, so south, right? So getting back to America, or any land with people, really, should be North. North West... is there any way-"

"Any way to tell where West is?" Mc interrupted, looking excited.

Jd grimaced. Mac was quite possibly the most annoying girl he had ever met, and he had to deal with a lot of annoying rich bitches on that boat. It took everything in him not to strangle her and throw her overboard every time she opened her mouth. He sighed. Keep it together, Jd. Only a little bit more of this, you'll be home soon. Wherever home is. "What I was going to say. Anywho, do either of you know how to find West?" he asked with a yawn.

Veronica nodded. "Ok, so stars rise in the East and set in the West, so someone has to follow one star and see which direction it moves; that'll be west," she explained, moving her hair out of her face. It really was gross, and she wanted nothing more than to hack it all off. Preferably with a chainsaw. 

"Ooh, ok, I'll do one! I picked a star, so what do I do now?" Mac asked confusion spelled on her face. Veronica sighed.

"Ok, put your hand over it, and it's very important that you don't move your hand. When the star isn't under ou hand anymore, we head in the direction it moved. That'll be west," she explained, demonstrating the hand covering for Mac. The taller girl nodded and mimicked Veronica. 

The three sat in silence for a moment, with Mac only paddling with one hand, as the other was still covering the star. "Mac, why don't I take over paddling? I haven't really been carrying my weight..." Veronica trailed off, feeling slightly guilty. Jd insisted that she literally do nothing the entire time, as he was paranoid that she would overwork herself. She was literally only 4 or 5 weeks in, so the baby was probably no bigger than a penny.

Still, Jd shook his head as if it were his decision. Mac saw, and of course agreed with him, probably because she was still afraid he would kill her. "Sorry Ronnie, but that's not a good idea. Speaking of pulling your weight, you need to gain some. You like you're 50 pounds," she commented, squinting at the sky. Veronica wrapped her arms around herself defensively.

"Not true! And I'm trying to _ration,_ so we don't all starve!" she exclaimed, frustrated. Her current act of doing nothing was very bothersome, and Mac's comments about her weight wasn't helping the matter.

Jd turned to her, looking slightly agitated. "Babe, you can't ration while you're pregnant. I'd rather Mac and I starve than have you skip a meal. Please eat something," he asked, almost begging. Veronica ruled her eyes, not even bothering to correct him when he called her babe.

An idea struck. "Ok, Jd, I'll eat on one condition. You let me paddle," she said with a grin.

Jd shook his head again. "This is not a choice between you hurting yourself or you hurting yourself. We'll do something for you if you eat, ok? We can tell stories again, that helped pass the time."

Mac smiled mischievously. "Let's play truth or dare!" she yelped, almost lowering her hand on instinct.

Jd looked at her as if she was an alien. "We are literally on a boat, and you want us to play truth or dare?" he asked. This had got to be the thickest skilled girl he had ever met, and he met a lot of rich bitches during his time on the ship.

Veronica picked up a berry, and almost ate it, before looking up at Jd. "I'm down if you are," she said, clearing showing him that she'd eat if he said yes.

"You are so evil, woman," he said. "Fine."

"Yay! Ok, Jd, truuuuuuuuth or dare?" Mac asked, elongating the word 'truth' for no reason in particular. Jd rolled his eyes but smiled when Veronica ate a berry. That must be it. One piece of food for every question they complete. Well, of course, he _had_ to play now.

"Um, truth?"

"Ok, so, when was your first kiss?" Mac pocked, her eyes wide with excitement. Jd raised an eyebrow.

"Sixth grade."

Mac giggled for what seemed like an hour, while Jd and Veronica sat in silence, wondering how she was getting so much joy out of this. Jd turned to Veronica and cocked an eyebrow, waiting. The girl sighed and ate a single leaf. "Happy?"

"Very."

"Ronnie, you're next! Truth or dare?" Mac asked, still very elated from Jd's dry answer.

"Truth, I guess?" Veronica responded, still not completely sure if she wanted to be playing such a game in the middle of the ocean.

Mac thought for a moment, before brightening at a question idea. "If you were a lesbian, would you be a top or bottom?" she asked, no shame in her voice.

Veronica and Jd froze before the boy burst out laughing. Veronica put a hand to her forehead, what was wrong with this girl? "Mac, that is such a weird question and I am _not_ answering it!" she exclaimed, sending a glare Jd's way. He was practically rolling over, making the ship tilt slightly. "Jd quit that!"

"Hm, sounds like someones a bottom,"

"Am not!"

"Ok. Whatever, dare, then? I dare you tooooo... I've got nothing. Help me out here, Jd?" she asked, scratching her temple as she blanked.

"Glad to help. Veronica, I dare you to eat five berries," he declared, looking very proud of himself.

"Nope, doesn't count," Veronica said with a breathy tone.

"Ok, you guys suck. Normally, Heather would dare you to make out with someone or give a handjob in front of everyone, but then it'd just be me watching it and that's awkward, so I'll give another truth! Tell the story of _your_ first kiss!" Mac rambled, twirling a piece of matted hair with her vacant hand. 

Veronica rolled her eyes and hunched forward slightly. "Mac, you already know this story..." she said, confused as to why she must recite the embarrassing moment again.

"I know, I just want to hear you say it!"

"Fine. 7th grade, seven minutes in heaven. Carter Elson. We sat in silence for five minutes before he pecked me, not moving, for one minute and then he just like pushed his tongue in my mouth with no other moving. I went home and gargled saltwater," she said, cringing at the awful memory. Mac started laughing again, and so did Jd, as he paddled furiously. Veronica smiled a bit and eat another berry.

"Hm, do you ever wonder how your 7th-grade self would react to you today?" Mac asked, looking at Veronica curiously, tilting her head.  
  


Veronica let out a half-laugh. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Mac explained, "You were just so uptight in middle school, you know? You only dated one guy, barely, and you were like, a nerd. And now you're a Heather, oh, and pregnant. Like, how would 13-year-old Veronica think of you spreading your legs for a lunatic? Like, she'd probably think that you're a whore," Mac said. Veronica froze. What the fuck? Did she just call Veronica a whore and say she was spreading her legs and did she just say it as if she was discussing the weather?

Veronica was about the defend her dignity as much as possible when Jd beat her to it. "Says you, you look like the type of girl to fuck an entire football team," Jd said nonchalantly, ignoring the hurt look in Mac's eyes. She probably didn't mean to offend Veronica, the Heathers just talked like that, and Jd didn't realize. "Remember that Veronica's the only thing keeping you alive right now..." he trailed off, a dark look in his eyes.

Mac dropped her hand from the sky, about to fight back. Veronica yelled. "Mac, shit, had the star moved yet?" she asked. If Jd had caused yet another thing to go horribly wrong, she might just push him overboard.

"Yeah, whatever, West is that way," she said, pointing west. Jd and her started paddling in that vague direction. "You can't say I'd sleep with an entire football team, not when you got a random girl in the _woods_ pregnant! You're just as much of a slut as she is!" she squealed, moving her arms quickly as they steered.

"Um, it's different with us, our love is _god._ You, on the other hand, will end up sad and lonely as a 50-year-old hooker who just can't seem to go a few days without spending all her prostitution payment on crack!" he yelled, staring only at the water. Veronica just put her hand in her forehead as the two fought.

Mac scoffed. "Excuse me? First of all, whatever you two have is sure as hell not love, because you're a huge dick to her and she constantly tells you not to call her babe or baby! That's because she's not into you! I will be a successful hand model, I predict, while you will join a gang and get murdered before your bastard child turns one!"

"Can you two please just stop?!" Veronica yelled, louder and higher than ever before. She had never been so stressed, and her head was pounding so hard she was seeing stars. They really needed to be quiet. "You're giving me a headache with your argument."

Jd was quick to respond, putting the back of his hand on Veronica's forehead. "Are you feeling dizzy? Here, drink some water-"

Veronica removed his hand and gave him a look. "Jd, I am _fine._ But you two need to stop measuring your dicks and hand me a paddle because I need to get out of here."

*

They found them.

Paul found Jd and his three friends. They were on the complete other side of the island, but still under his nose the entire time. Every day for months he fantasized putting a bullet in this boy's head as if it would somehow bring his son and wife back. As if everything would be ok if that one bastard was dead. And you know that Paul was sure as hell bringing all his friends with him.

He didn't tell Bill or Dennis that he was heading over. They would want a turn, want to take this away from him. No one was every taking anything away from Paul again. He was taking their lives, and in return, he would get the two lives he missed the most back. So he hid behind a tree and waited. He only saw the back of the boy's head, but it had to be Jd. There was no one else, it had to be him. So he waited there, behind the tree, until they were all facing the water, away from him.

Paul slowly crept up. This would be long and painful, just like drowning, just like drowning. He cocked the gun to the boy's head.

"Hands, up, J-" Paul froze.

Did Jd have light brown hair and a birthmark on his left shoulder? And freckles on his back, and the same skin tone as...

It had to be Jd! Kurt was dead, Kurt was at the bottom of the ocean, and this would bring him back. But as the boy slowly turned around and covered his mouth with his hand, he didn't know how it had worked. 

"Kurt?"

"Dad?"


	14. Reunited

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was late and wayyyyy too short, The next chapter is going to be a full-on roller coaster so this is like the calm before the storm.

The sky turned from pale blue to a red, hints of yellow in the sunset, some black on the horizon. Mac never saw green in the sky. Water blue, storms black, sun yellow. The fire in Jd's eyes red, Veronica's vomit green. How very.

It was getting hard to breathe. Suffocated in a wall of pure hatred, she never could escape. When she turned around, angry eyes stared at her back. She could never look back. She'd seen Heather's fire in the eyes of the boy, H's brokenness in the girl's smile. They weren't all too different from the Heathers, though if you were to tell them that, they'd deny it all. Veronica changed. Mac didn't know if Jd was always like this, but she assumed not. No one was born with such hatred in anger towards the world. No baby looked at their mother for the first time and only felt pain. Jd learned his indifference.

Mac changed as well. Maybe she wasn't the yellow Heather anymore. Not the sun, but rather the boat, unsteady and rickety. Low in the water, cracks all around. The boat tilted whenever one of them moved, as it never had before. She tried to talk the most, with little to no responses. Back home, Veronica would respond to her when no one else would, smiling as if to say 'I hear you, Mac'. It was the thing she loved most about her. That thing was gone. She loved her no less.

Veronica spent the days staring into the waves, memorizing every ripple that soared her way. She turned to the sky when she accidentally caught a glimpse at her reflection, something that disgusted her so much, she couldn't bear to gaze upon it. They had brought mountains of food, the stock most likely weighing more than all of them combined. Still, as days turned into weeks, Veronica saw it shrink. The water had almost run out, until a rain. Veronica secretly hoped it had been a storm. The black would take over the blue and the nightmare would end.

Jd had never felt guilt before. Not when he watched as his mother's figure stood on the bow of the ship, smiling at him. Not when he was frozen for minutes, after watching her body fall ever so gracefully into the water before he finally told someone. Not when his dad told him there was no point in turning around, his mother was too far gone. But as he gazed upon the once shiny, happy girl on the ship, he felt pangs of searing hot guilt travel through his bloodstream. Her stomach swelled more each and every day, as he saw the life in her eyes fade. The fire he fell in love with. Gone because of him. He loved her no less.

If he had known what the cause of her 'sickness' was before, he would never have put her on the ship. He would have gone to those bastards and tell them where their sons and daughter were, then he would've taken a bullet if he had too. It would be a penny to pay compared to watching her life slip away slowly. He didn't know how healthy her body was, but he guessed it was better than her mind. Her eyelids always looked on the verge of falling shut, her mouth in a constant straight line. She held a hand to her stomach as she stared at the water, and he knew the old her would be crying. Or yelling. Or showing a hint of emotion. But this wasn't Veronica. No love in her eyes.

Veronica wasn't sure if Jd noticed anything anymore. He and Mac would discuss things occasionally, like where the boat would most likely end up if they reached land if their immigration policies would prevent the group from entering the country for refuge. Veronica would laugh in her mind, for who would deny a pregnant, most likely dying seventeen-year-old?

Damn it, she was only seventeen. Too young to be doing anything but partying, studying, and having fun. Too young to have her mind overtaken by worry about what would happen to the life that grew inside her. Most days she didn't want to eat. The look of food made her feel sick. But if she didn't eat three times a day, Mac would get cloudy eyes, and Jd would mentally beat himself up. They didn't know she noticed. She did.

So she ate. Three times a day. To keep the baby alive. She didn't move much, didn't want to burn any calories. She was about 12 weeks in, and she shouldn't be completely showing yet. But here that child was, a round bump atop a showing ribcage. Here Veronica was, ripping herself apart, limb by limb, as she wished that she never wished. Never wished for the baby to just go away, to just slowly disappear. She was too young. Too stupid. Too young.

Veronica wanted to disappear herself. To have just never existed. Maybe via the butterfly effect, the crash wouldn't have happened. There would be no child, born into a world with a mother who couldn't love them because she couldn't love herself. She wanted more than anything to love the life inside of her, to love the father, to love life. Scratch that- she loved the father. In a horrible, gut eating way. She longed for it all to disappear, for them to be normal. She was caught in an endless cycle of daydreams, imagining what they would have been if they had met before.

They would be stupid teenagers. Dance in the rain, sneak through windows, skip class. He could ask her to prom, in some mushy and over the top fashion. They could go camping, a far more muted version of what they went through on the island. She could talk him through the tough times, he could tell her all that she knew was built up in his mind. They could love each other sanely, calmly, controlled. They could go to college, get married, have a kid. A planned child. Or maybe not. All Veronica wanted was a perfect or imperfect, perfectly predictable life.

But more than anything, she wanted to die. It sounded morbid and goth and horrifying, but death was a permanent solution to problems that would haunt her forever. 

Veronica was at a fork in the road. The baby is gone, Veronica survives. Baby stays, Veronica slowly dies out, sinks into the abyss. Both are hells, both are world she cannot live in. Yet, she has the choice. The baby never had a choice. The baby doesn't get a choice.

But maybe Veronica can make the choice for them. Not even a demon child is lost. If she can keep this life alive, then maybe there is hope. Maybe they will grow up and go to Harvard, become a lawyer. Or maybe they'll travel across the world, helping others. They'll do what Veronica never had the chance to do. And she'd make sure of it.

"Jd, do you love me?" she asked, her eyes glassy. She looked up from the water and onto Jd, as he rapped his finger's against the boat's side for the millionth time.

Jd stared at her for what seemed like hours, his mind lost. "More than words can witness, or your thoughts can guess."

Of course, Jd had to give a poetic answer to a simple question. "Then you have to promise me something, and you have to truly promise. You can never break it," she whispered, closing her eyes. She would have to ask him for the impossible, but she knew that if he loved her, he would try. She didn't know- she hoped. It was wrong, what she wished for, on a million levels. But she prayed that he loved her with enough of him to be blinded. He nodded, looking concerned. Mac had stopped rowing, and turned to Veronica. All eyes on her. "Say it. Say you promise."

"I promise, you Veronica, I'll do whatever you need me to do as long as it won't hurt you. What's going on?"

She took a deep breath. "You'll give the baby a life- one that I didn't get. And you'll be there when I'm gone and you don't have to like, keep the child, just make sure they don't end up on the street? That's all I need," she whispered, closing her eyes. She couldn't see the expressions on their faces, but she felt them. They didn't know what she meant. So she explained further. "I'll stay alive just until the baby is born, but then I'm gone. We'll never get out. I'll die from the pain anyway. I've already decided, I just want to make sure the baby survives."

Silence. Deafening silence. Veronica knew they wouldn't be on board, but she didn't give a shit. There was nothing left for her in this world. Hell, she wasn't the Veronica Jd loved, so why should he care? He was holding onto a shell of a woman, and he needed to let go. This was how.

She felt cold, clammy hands on her face. Rougher and more scared than the first time he held her. Veronica opened her eyes, hazel meeting dark brown. His eyes were always dark, but in the light of the sun, they almost looked black, strangely enough. How very. "You are not giving up. I did this to you- all of it, all of it, all of it. Fuck, Veronica, I- I'm so sorry. But I told you before, and I'll tell you again, you need to fight."

He knew it was selfish. to put her through hell, just to tell her she couldn't die there. That she needs to claw her way up with fire burning her alive. He didn't do it because he needed her, though, he did it because he believed she could. He believed she could make it out alive and recover. She'd be ok.

She shook her head, and he wasn't so sure.

*

Heather Chandler's dad was alive. And so were the dads of rapist #1 and rapist #2. But they weren't really alive; not as Heather expected. She expected tears and hugging, a huge moment. But her dad just hugged her wordlessly, as they both cried. Heath thought it was all over, and that thinking hadn't changed. But her dad was alive, and her mom hadn't been on the boat with them. Heather might have a life if they were rescued. She wished her dad felt the same.

She didn't know what happened when the three men were gone, but she couldn't imagine it to be good. Kurt's dad had a gun, but he hadn't used it. He kept repeating "I'll save the bullets for him, save the bullets for him,". It was terrifying in a way, how Heather couldn't figure out who he was saving the bullets for. She didn't dare ask.

They went mad. She knew it. H might be going mad too, mad with jealousy. Envy had always been a defining trait for her, ever since they were young girls. She wanted everything that she couldn't have and hated everything that was handed to her. Heather, in a way, understood it. She wanted more, wanted a challenge, wanted the impossible. But now, she just wanted a parent.

Here they were, seven out of ten survivors (that she knew of), sitting around a fire. Her hands were warm, her chest felt cold. As always.

She was an invisible hope, and she surprised herself every night. 

Heather Chandler was never one to pray. She didn't know who she was begging, but it was someone. Someone above her. She never met anyone like that, and she had never wanted to until now. Someone to hold her like her dad was too afraid too. He was too busy muttering under his breath, his eyes darting wildly across the horizon. She needed hope, hope in herself. 

Heather Chandler could really use a wish right now.

*

> It is not down on a map, true places never are.
> 
> -Horman Melville, Moby Dick

Heather Duke was about 99% sure she was imagining it all. Weeks went by, the sunset, and revealed a new day, much to H's demise. Maybe she wanted a fire to burn down the earth. Maybe she wanted the moon to fall, right into her hands. The moon would help her fly. Fly into the night sky.,

The island wasn't real, probably. No planes, no helicopters, no ships. Either they were square in the middle of the Bermuda triangle, or they had somehow traveled to the center of the earth. Either way, life would be lonely. Life shouldn't be like this.

H would never be able to make right her wrongs. The kids she bullied or tripped in the hallways, the often were like her. Scared, lost, confused. They just hadn't been named Heather.

She could never apologize to Heather, who she followed around, and gave a superiority complex to. Without that heather may have had a fuller life. She may have been able to love.

She could never apologize to Veronica for helping Heather drag her onto a boat which would lead to her doom. For setting her up for Kurt to rape her. For laughing at her. For degrading her. For making her life hell, just so H didn't have the worst life out of all of them.

She never could apologize to Mac. For not telling her she loved her sooner. For never sticking up for them. For ignoring all her feelings. At least she got to 'save' her once. More like send her to her doom. That's another apology.

She never could apologize to the person who needed it most, herself.

Because life sucked now.

And that's that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel evil for what's about to come...
> 
> Also a disclaimer, this wasn't all a hallucination or Jd going insane, H is just going mad a bit, and she was thinking about a moby dick quote.


	15. Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided that the events that were supposed to happen in this chapter can wait until the next, as I only need to torture H once a chapter. Enjoy!

There was no more dirt to carve the days into. Now the only tell of how long they'd been there was the stubble on Jd's face, the length of Mac's hair, the size of Veronica's stomach. The three of them had gone through all stages of grief in their time of the boat, and each stage was distinctive.

In the beginning, there was denial. Jd would close his eyes and be back on the cruise ship, as happy as he had ever been. That wasn't very happy at all, but it was something. The three of them convinced themselves a rescue ship would pick them up any moment, and they waited for it. It never came.

Next was anger, a fun one. Veronica yelled at Jd for lying to her and getting them in such a situation, which he couldn't argue with. Jd yelled at Mac for constantly tipping the boat, Mac yelled at Veronica complaining too often. No matter how much the trio bickered, they knew the anger wasn't truly directed at each other. They resented the situation, not the people who created it.

Bargaining. That was a recent one. Veronica told Jd he needed to take care of their kid once she died, and he told her no. They would go on for hours, as she told him it was his responsibility, as he told her he'd rather drown himself than watch her die. He made her particularly mad when he said that he would choose her over the baby any day. She didn't agree.

Depression wasn't exactly a specific stage, but more of an overall theme. It was like a looming shadow over the teenagers, never leaving. Never leaving Veronica, especially, as it tore into her soul. She ignored it while she talked with Jd and Mac, pretending like her suicidal thoughts were gone. She never wanted to die more.

Acceptance was a tricky one. It seemed to be nearing, as they realized what was happening truly. They couldn't escape, they couldn't run away, so they might as well accept their inevitable doom. And so they did.

It started with the jokes. For a full day, Mac made whatever water-related puns she could think of. This included, but was not limited to: 'Jd, did I tell you the joke about the three watering holes? No? Well, well, well', 'What do you call a wet teddy bear? A drizzly bear!' and 'Hey V, what's the ocean's favorite song? Row, row, row your boat...'. Jd hated them, Veronica seemed to like them. It was the first time Jd saw her smile in much too long. That made Jd love the puns.

Next, it was the stories. It was truly the only way to keep them entertained, so they told them all. Boring or interesting, it didn't matter. Veronica would tell tales of old Shakespear books or classic literature. She closed her eyes, and she was in her room, laying on her bed, the smell of her mother's burnt cooking wafting into her from as she read. Jd would tell storied of the weirdest people he met on the cruise, from old couples on the run away from the law, to small children who called him 'mom'. Mac's stories were lighthearted, always some fun prank the Heathers pulled. Sometimes they were on Veronica, and seeing her so shocked was purely hilarious.

Maybe they were taking steps in the right direction. Maybe they were leaping in the wrong one. It didn't quite matter which one, as both directions had the same name.

"Hey Veronica, do you remember that one time Rodney asked out Heather with flowers? I felt so bad for him, but it was so funny he thought he had a chance!" Mac laughed, paddling weakly due to her sore arms. Veronica fought to fake a smile, and a laugh.

Veronica chuckled. "Yeah, that was stupid of him. What did he think would happen? She was a foot taller than him!" Veronica exclaimed, dipping a hand into the water. The ocean grew cooler every day, a confirmation they were heading north.

"And, remember when we were at the movies, watching your stupid french black and white film, and Finn was there? He spilled popcorn all over himself when he saw us approaching!" Mac said, a smile forming on her face.

Veronica half-smiled, it almost being real, when Jd interrupted them. "Gosh, you guys seem like you ran the school. In a really dictatory way," he joked.

"Oh, you have no idea. The three almighty Heathers were so terrifying, it was like a bad teen movie. When they were together, nothing could stop them," Veronica said with a smile, remembering when she would cower in the hallways as they passed. How times had changed.

Mac giggled, and Jd raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were a Heather too," he said.

"Oh, Ronnie wasn't always a Heather. She hung with Betty Finn and Marth Dumptruck before Heather decided her forgery skills would be useful," Mac explained. Her hair stuck to her face with sweat as the sun burned down on them, no protection available.

Veronica sighed. "Yep, the big switch. I remember that day you handed me my blue blazer fondly. I was reborn, though I'm 90% sure the new Veronica was worse than the old one," she said, her body in the boat, her mind in the hallways of Westerberg.

"I mean, you're probably right. The more we're on this boat, the more I realize how awful we were. And are. We really corrupted you, I mean remember that time we tried to set you up with Carter like three days after he broke up with Cassidy?" Mac asked, her eyes twinkling in thought.

"Oh, vividly. I believe she threatened to rearrange my teeth, then told Carter I had a _shrine_ of him, and I cried in the girl's bathroom for all of study hall."

Mac burst out laughing. "Oh gosh, Ronnie, did we ever tell you what we did to Cassidy for that stunt?" Mac asked, turning around in the boat to look at Veronica. "After school, Heather planted a-"

"Shut up."

Mac looked at Jd questioningly. "Jd, I'm just-"

"No, shut the fuck up. Listen."

You could hear a pin drop on the boat at the three teenagers listen carefully to a seemingly empty ocean. Jd heard it first. A hum. A roar. Something from a machine. Maybe a motor. A motor on a boat.

Veronica heard it next. Like angels humming, humming to save her. Did she want to be saved?

Mac heard it last. At first, she only heard water crashing into itself, and distant chirps of seagulls. It came to her when she closed her eyes. Slow and steady, a growing crescendo on the water. She shouldn't get her hopes up. After all of this, there was no way they were getting rescued.

The hum only grew.

*

Heather and H sat a good distance away from the men, as they rolled pieces of grass in between their fingers. Months went by without Mac, and each day grew emptier. Without her, they weren't the Heathers. They were just H and Heather, and H and Heather didn't feel protected with only them. The power that came with being an infinitely strong trio was gone, leaving them to fend for themselves. The sun shone on their fear.

"Do you think they're dead?"

Leave it to Heather to ask the most obvious, yet most painful question out there. H had been avoiding thinking about it, she spent her energy tracing words in cursive in the dirt. How could she answer it?

"I don't know. I hope not," was all she said, her voice smaller than her strength.

Heather bit her lip. "I just need Veronica and Mac to be ok. Everything will be ok if they are. They'll tell people where to find us, right?" she asked as if H would know. The other girl sighed, squeezing her eyes shut. Squeeze the light away.

"They were made at us when we left," she stated simply, not sure what it meant. They were mad at them, but would they leave them for dead? Who knows what this island did to them. Or what the ocean did.

"They wouldn't do that."

A light breeze carried H's hair in front of her face, the island almost silent. Was there anything left if Veronica and Mac didn't make it? They were like a symbol of hope, a beacon of light. If they could make it, so could H. She would find Mac again, and she would find herself again. After this, she didn't need anymore adventure. She'd be happy staying in Sherwood Ohio if it meant she'd get to stay there with Mac.

"I know."

The air smelled like salt. H's hair had never been wavy until the salt. Salt. Horrible word.

It was the first time H ever saw Heather cry. There was no reason tears flooded down the perfect face of the girl, but H could tell they were genuine. And as the first one hit the ground, H's waterworks burst as well. Gripped in each other's arms, terrified of letting go, the girls let themselves cry. Cry it away, let the world go. 

"I miss home so much," Heather sniffed out, looking defeated. H knew why. Heather never cried in front of others, she didn't allow it. H took Heather's hand.

"We'll get back home. We have to. We'll be rescued, or- or Veronica and Mac will tell them where we are. I promise we won't die here."

Heather tilted her head back, taking in the words. _I promise we won't die here._

She wished she could believe it.

*

Their screams were deafening. Veronica was repeating some sort of 'Over here!', while Jd opted for 'Help!'. Mac was just stretching, trying to make noise. Their vocal cords would be fried by tomorrow. 

At first, they didn't know if it was a boat. But Jd started to scream, his mouth opening like a dinosaur about to devour another. Mac and Veronica followed suit, cupping their hands to amplify the noise. Slowly, a grew dot on the horizon came into perspective. It was a fairly large speedboat, making obnoxiously loud noises as the shape grew larger. They had to be louder.

Every thought that had brewed in Veronica's head for weeks flew out the window once she started to scream. Every inch of her begged her to stop, to throw herself overboard. To not let anyone know that she was gone, and to disappear. The life inside of her was a reminder not too. But a girl could wish. So she kept screaming, not completely sure why. Desperate to be saved from this nightmare, tears streamed down her face.

The boat grew closer. They were coming towards them. Did they see the trio? Could they hear them? Or would they sail right past them, never knowing there were three dying children in need of help? They begged the universe for the former.

The boat was no clear, and Jd stood up, waving his arms like mad. Mac followed, almost jumping up, desperate. Veronica stayed seating, knowing she would just collapse and probably fall out of the ship if she tried. Her legs wouldn't cooperate with her mind, and the baby had taken a major toll on her body. Why couldn't she have had sex with someone smaller than Jd? At least that baby wouldn't rip her body apart like this one was.

The boat stopped. They must know. They must.

Her ears rang, and everything went silent. Veronica watched as Jd dove off of their rickety raft and swam to the large grey speedboat. Veronica brought her knees to her chest and closed her eyes. She heard nothing, saw nothing. She felt the raft lighten and knew Mac was gone too. Her head pounded, the ringing growing louder. Her entire body ached, and she knew if she was ever going to escape the ocean, this was her chance. But she couldn't move.

Through the ringing, she heard the boat keep moving. Closer to her. Veronica stayed still, squeezing her knees tighter, trying to stay small and invisible. She throbbed painfully.

"Veronica, Veronica..."

The voice of Jd felt like it was a million miles away. The ringing continued, but Veronica opened her eyes. A familiar hand was extended towards her, but she just started at it. SHe couldn't hear. Couldn't see.

Then there was black.

*

Jd had left the boat, and swam to the other. He wasn't sure what he expected, maybe some fishermen, or some old dudes. But they were young, and they spoke English. One of them handed Jd a rope and asked who he was. He could barely get words out.

"Trapped for so long- ship crashed. We were on an island- tried to kill us... and, and, and we left. Girlfriend! She's pregnant, and we really need help, we've been at sea for so long!" he blurted out, shaking his head. The words weren't flowing like they were meant to. They two guys looked spooked and insanely scared. One of them started dialing a number on his phone, while the other helped Mac onto the boat.

"This her?" one of them asked, his face ridden with worry.

"No! She's on the boat- please help," Jd begged, pointing to the raft.

It never occurred to him how small Veronica really was until he saw her from the speedboat. She was curled up as if he wanted to stay there forever. As if she didn't want to be saved. The boat slowly crept up next to her, and he cringed. Covering her ears, closing her eyes, her knees up against her chest. She was deathly thin, yet her stomach had swelled and was showing far more than a regular woman at her time in the pregnancy. But Veronica was 17, and already small to begin with, but now she weighed as much as a child. The problem was, she was carrying one as well.

He outstretched his hand to her, begging her silently to fight. "Veronica! Veronica, it's ok, there are people and they can help us! Babe, c'mon! Veronica-"

And she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also Veronica NOT dead lmao, she fainted. Just want to make it clear!


	16. Rescued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I wrote a 3,000-word chapter, AO3 glitched, and poof! It was gone. So here's a shorter, crappier version! Hope you enjoy xx

The once scorching days gradually drew cold, and the nights were even more unbearable than before. 

  
Kurt Kelly wasn't a monster. At least, that's what he told himself. Maybe his dad was, though. When he first showed up, Kurt expected them to hug, them to cry. His dad just kind of sat next to him, and didn't speak. It hurt a little bit, for your parents are supposed to love you the most, and it seemed like his dad didn't give a shit that his son wasn't dead.

  
Paul rocked back in forth through the day as if he was an insane asylum patient. He muttered about Kurt's mom, he muttered about Jd, he muttered about someone named Bud. Kurt wanted to know how he knew Jd, and why he had a vendetta against him. Kurt never asked.

  
Still, Kurt wasn't a monster. Sure, he did some questionable things, but that only made him human, right? If he wanted something, he took it, and that wasn't bad. Sometimes it hurt others, but why should he care? Ram did the same thing, and he was seen as cool for it. But when Kurt attempted, Jd fucking beat him up, for no good reason. Well, maybe he was jealous. Kurt understood jealousy. Sometimes when Ram would go into a shelter with just Heather Chandler, he felt it.

  
But he was just jealous of Ram, of course. For getting to fuck Heather. Not the other way around.

  
Ram would've probably high five Kurt if Jd didn't get in the way. They all would've respected him. Plus, Veronica was as hot as you could get on a deserted island. Maybe that's why he hated Jd so much. Ever since the first night, he took something from him. He took Veronica the first time they met on the ship, and he took her many more times. He took Ram's approval away from Kurt, something he worked for constantly. He never knew the consequences of his own actions, and that made Kurt angrier than ever. He wanted him to pay. <maybe not in blood like Heather had planned, but Kurt needed revenge.

  
And as it seemed, his dad felt the same way. God knows what Jd did to him, but he was mad. He talked in his sleep, and while it was mainly about Kurt's mother, or again, that man named Bud, sometimes Jd was mentioned. Never good things. Always a little disturbing, always a gun involved.

  
But no, Kurt Kelly was not a monster.

  
Monsters never think they are.

  
*

  
Jd poured water onto her face. Nothing. 

  
"Where in the world are we?" he heard Mac ask the two guys in the boat. They were currently speeding away, back to land. Jd was still kneeling over Veronica's head, watching her breathe. It was comforting to know that she was alive, though he didn't know to what extent.

  
"We left from our private beach in Florida, we're going to turn around right when we saw ya," the one not driving replied, a thick southern accent in his voice.

  
Jd pushed her hair out of her face and sat back. The guilt would never leave, not in a million years. He screwed up big time and didn't only ruin Veronica's life, but now she may be hurt. "How long have you guys been out on the water?" Jd asked, hints of panic and urgency leaking into his voice. 

  
"We'll be there in an hour, son, don't worry," he replied.

  
That was a difficult task. Mac seemed to be in shock, as she wasn't saying much. Jd felt like crying but knew it wouldn't solve anything.

  
As the hot sun beat down on them, he couldn't help but wonder if getting on the raft had actually saved them. Almost everyone on the island had wanted them dead, but they were safe now. Probably. "Hey Ronnie, don't know if you can hear me, but we'll be ok. You'll be ok. We'll bring you to the hospital, and everything will be ok. I'm right here."

  
"Yeah, we need an ambulance. Found three kids on a raft while we were out on the boat, I think they're survivors from that huge boat crash. One's fainted, she's pregnant too. Medical conditions? They all look pretty skinny, pregnant girl especially. Height? How tall are you guys?" the man asked, covering the phone's microphone.

  
Mac answered for them. "I'm 5'9", Veronica is 5'0", I think Jd is 6' 4"?" she said, not sure about the last part. Jd wasn't 6' 4", he was 6' 2", but his height didn't matter now. So he nodded.

  
"Non-pregnant girl is 5' 9", the pregnant girl is 5 foot, the boy is 6' 4". Yeah, we gave them water. We don't have any food onboard. I'll ask them, do you guys feel faint or sick?" he asked the two awake teens. Jd wanted to slap him then and there.

  
"She literally fainted, so yes she feels faint! Mac and I are fine," he responded, well aware that he was being rude. Before the man could reply to the phone, Jd remembered something. "Oh shit, there are more survivors! On the uh, island we were on. There were two other girls our age, two boys, and three men. I don't know if they're still alive," he quickly rambled.

  
If Veronica hadn't existed, he wouldn't have told them. he would have left them to rot on that island, die as they deserved. But he knew that in her heart, she still cares about her friends there. And even if she didn't, she'd still want them to be saved. That's just who she was. The man nodded and repeated all of the information into the phone, as Jd took a deep breath. He just wanted her to wake up.

  
The man gave as much information on the situation as he knew, and the continued to speed off for the remaining twenty minutes. Jd positioned Veronica's head on his lap, not want her to get injured. Mac was crying, probably due to relief. Jd didn't show any emotion. If he was sad, angered, relieved, no one would be any the wiser. Perfect. 

  
When they finally arrived to land, there were three ambulances and two police cars waiting, as well as a helicopter. He almost laughed at the scene, it was so absurd. Thye saw not one search vehicle in the entire time they were on that island, back when they were in true danger. Now, safer than ever, they were being bombarded with unnecessary precautions. It was almost funny, really.

  
The rest was a blur. He saw them put Mac on a stretcher, take her away. Jd almost punched an EMT when he pried Veronica from his grasp, but he thought better of it. He refused to leave her side, though, so he didn't go into his own ambulance. There weren't any evident injuries on him, so they let him ride with her, which was a relief. Tears threatened to spill out of his eyes the entire time, but he fought back. Veronica was hurt, he wasn't. he hurt her. And now, there was hell to pay.

*

Veronica woke slowly to very bright fluorescent lights. It felt like a punch in the face to the very sleepy teenager. Mechanical beeps were loudly ringing in her left year as she groggily rubbed her eyes. The room was a stark white, and it smelled like antiseptic. Veronica groaned a bit and attempted to sit up, but a ride awakening hit as she felt she couldn't.

This couldn't be real. She was still on the island, being yelled at by Heather. She was still on the island, being groped by Kurt. She was in the forest, being ignored by Jd, being used as a pawn in a game. She was still on the ship, throwing up her guts, knowing the truth. She was still in Jd's arms as she realized she was pregnant. Her story was full 

"Take it easy, don't hurt yourself," a careful voice commented from next to her. Veronica quickly twisted her neck to inspect this mystery woman and found a nurse. A girl, probably in her mid-thirties, dressed in light blue scrubs and a messy bun. "My name is Heather, I'm your nurse."

Veronica paused for a minute before bursting into laughter. _Heather, how fitting,_ she thought. As soon as noise escaped her mouth, pain rapidly shot through her abdomen and arms. Strangely, her hips and legs were completely numb. "Where.. am I?" she sleepily groaned. She partially recognized that she was indeed in a hospital, but she needed to hear it aloud to confirm that it wasn't some sick nightmare. maybe she was still on the boat.

"You're in the Palms West hospital, in Florida. We just got you out of surgery. Your doctor will be by in an hour or two to explain everything. The surgery was for your leg, and there was one before for your pregnancy."

Veronica widened her eyes. "What? What's wrong with the baby?!" she quickly blurted, panic overtaking her body. If she messed up something like that yet again, she would never forgive herself. She didn't want the child, she never wanted to be pregnant, but she was. And the only hope she had left was that a part of her could live on in the child, cause Veronica sure as hell was not living past twenty.

"The doctor needs to be present in the room for this conversation," she simply stated, her tone not wavering.

Veronica nearly screamed at the doctor, desperate for information, when the door to her room opened. She was greatly disappointed when her parents didn't walk in, but instead two men in police uniforms. "Excuse me, ma'am, we need to talk to Veronica Sawyer," one with a thick mustache drawled, his southern accent heavy. Veronica was slightly annoyed that they talked to the nurse as if she wasn't there, but she ignored it.

"The patient _just_ woke up from heavy anesthesia and is in some shock. Can it wait a minute, officers?" Heather asked. Veronica was immensely grateful, as a million thoughts were currently swirling through her mind, and she had no time to converse with police officers.

Where were her parents? Were they told of the pregnancy, and immediately leave? They did live in Ohio, after all, and she was only seventeen. Being a pregnant teenager out of wedlock was practically the most shameful thing you could do in her state, she'd be the disgrace of Sherwood. What had happened to the baby? The nurse said she was in surgery for the pregnancy, and there was a searing pain all throughout her stomach- that could mean nothing good. Where was Mac and-

Jd. She almost forgot about Jd. Were they even alive? Veronica had not one clear memory from after the raft, as the last thing she remembered was watching everyone leave, but her. A million possible, terrible fates, flew through her mind before the other officer cut them off.

"Miss, we've waited four days, this matter is higher under investigation. We need a statement from her, and we need as much information as possible on the whereabouts of the other survivors."

The other survivors. She had left Heather, H, Ram, and Kurt on that island, knowing they would probably never get out. Hearing the officer's words, she assumed they were still lost. Veronica saw a chance to ask her burning question, with the police and the nurse present, so she took it. "Jd... is Jd alive?" she groggily muttered, rubbing an eye.

The reaction of the three people standing in front of ger was very strange. One of the officers took out a notepad and furiously began to scribble. The other shook his head, and muttered: 'so sick'. The nurse looked at her with pity- and Veronica knew what had happened.

"He can't be dead, you're joking, right?" she asked, unable to believe that Jd might be gone. He was the strong one, he survived everything- he couldn't be dead!

"Jason Dean is alive and well," the officer with the large mustache clarified. Veronica sighed and rested her head deeper into the pillow. Of course, he was fine, he'd always be ok. No matter what.

"I need to see him- I promise I'll answer any question you have after I see him," she desperately rambled, attempting to sit up. Heather rushed over and gently pressed her back down onto the bed, while the mustached cop closed the door to the room. The furious notepad scribbling repeated and left Veronica completely baffled. "Why can't I see him?"

"Veronica, Heather McNamara explained some things, and the story is being investigated. We know about some of the things he did to you- and we won't let him near you again," the notepad officer gruffly said, his voice far from gently.

Veronica was taken aback. What did Jd do? Well, he did have plans to kill Kurt, and plans to kill Heather... but he never went through with any of them. And 'things he did to her'? Yeah, he got her pregnant, but that was a two-person feat. He got her on the draft, saved her from the island- all he really did was lie, and that that was much more of a relationship problem than a legal problem.

"What the fuck do you mean? What did Mac tell you?"

The officers took a seat on two folding chairs next to the foot of her bed. "Veronica, how did you get those bruises?" one asked, writing every word in his stupid fucking notebook. They thought he hit her?

"I lived in the fucking wilderness for months!" she cried out, not caring about her language. "He never- he would never! Mac is lying, I don't know why, but she is! You said something is wrong with the baby, then you have to let me see him!" she yelled, struggling to leave the bed.

"It's not just that, Ms. McNamara has made claims that he attempted to harm some of the other survivors, and went as far as to get into a fight with one. This leads us to believe he is not in the right mental state to be around you at the moment," the police stated as if it were the most casual thing in the world.

Hot tears burned through Veronica's eyes. "He got into one fight! He was protecting me from Kurt, I swear! He never did anything wrong- let me go!" she screamed, as Heather applied pressure on her shoulders, keeping her from exiting the bed. The standing girl pressed a small blue-button above Veronica's bed.

"We need to restain patient Veronica Sawyer, room 57," she said into the microphone, as Veronica struggled to release herself from the grip.

"She's insane, she's lying, you've got it all wrong! Please just let me seem him!" Veronica screamed, thrashing around. She didn't believe a word she said, but something was wrong and she needed Jd. She didn't know how to cope without him, and she knew that just the sight of his face would calm her down. "Don't restrain me. Just bring him in here, he won't hurt me."

Heather sighed, then turned towards the police. "Veronica can be interviewed in two hours. I'm going to need you two to come back then. Go."

Veronica was slightly surprised by the commanding voice, and sat up once the two had left. Heather closed the door and turned to Veronica. 

"I need you to tell me the truth. What happened on that island?"

*

Heather Chandler was cold. Next to a burning fire, surrounded by people, she was cold. her heart seemed to have frozen over, and there was no cure. People used to joke about her being a cold-hearted bitch, but now it was true. But her frozen heart didn't cause her to be mean; no, it caused a dreadful silence. Every inch of her was consumed in ice, as she accepted what had happened.

Mac and Veronica were dead. Jd was gone too, she supposed. She just knew, she just knew. There was no way to explain it- but the way her organs had disappeared into thin air, left only with horrible empty space- she just knew. Two out of three of her best friends her dead. They probably drowned. Maybe Jd went crazy and murdered them. Or maybe he hadn't gone crazy, but he killed them anyway. She wouldn't put it past him.

It didn't hurt as much as she had thought. She felt almost guilty for not being too sad, after all, they were dead. But how cold her mind occupy any thought unrelated to how she was going to escape? She was the only one left lighting signal fires, spelling out 'H E L P' on the ground with sticks. Everyone else seemed to have given up hope the last few weeks, but Heather had had the opposite effect. She knew her friends would have wanted her to try her damn best to be saved, so that was what she would do. Heather Chandler was not a quitter, so she was going to get off this fucking island, whether the others helped her or not.

Still, it hurt a bit knowing that no one thought it could happen. Her dad's eyes were blank as he stared at empty flames, all day, every day. The other adults were the same, but Kurt's dad seemed to be slightly more unhinged. Bloodthirsty. That did not sit well with Heather.

Ram and Kurt left the site a lot. They'd bring back plants, roots, dead animals. Every day, the stock they brought back lessened. Heather felt hungry almost always.

H was... H was gone. She cried a lot, mostly about Mac. Sometimes Veronica as well, but mostly Mac. They hadn't spoken about their feelings since that one night, where they confessed everything. they now had some sort of mutual understanding that they couldn't get through this without the other. So as much as Heather preferred Mac or Veronica, she let herself be open with H. Even though it never happened, if they were to have a serious discussion about all that was happening, heather would be honest. She would always be honest.

More than anything, she just wanted to be home, though.

Wherever home was.


	17. Ripped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the timeline for this chapter may be confusing- it's basically what was happening while Veronica was in surgery/unconscious, and the bit in italics is a flashback.

_July 10th, 2003 Somewhere on the Atlantic_

_Jason Dean had never seen his dad in such a rage. Confusion stirred in the seven-year-old's mind, as his father lifted his beer bottle to the sky. "You said she jumped, son? She just jumped?" the man asked, after taking a particularly long swig of the alcohol. Jason nodded his head quickly, hope in his heart. He had expected his dad to run and jump in after her, or to turn the boat around. No such luck. "That bitch!"_

_Maybe his mom had just wanted to go for a swim. She had dived in so gracefully, like an Olympic competitor. Her smile and weave were warm as she saw her son for the last time- but it wouldn't be the last time, right? Jd clutched his Triceratops stuffed animal, the one his mother gave him for his fifth birthday, close to his chest. His dad was treading around his office in a stressed manner, his eyes wild, his hands in his hair. "Oh fuck, oh fuck!" he screamed._

_His words boomed in Jason's ears, loud and cold. Normally his mom would be there and scold Bud for cursing around Jason, but she wasn't. She was in the ocean. Not forever, though. of course not. "She waved to me before," Jd softly sad, not looking up from the button eyes of his stuffy. "Where is she going?"_

_Jason had plucked the original eyes out a month ago when he thought he saw them moving. He was convinced the animal was watching him sleep, and didn't want to take any chances. However, seeing the eyeless creature made Jason even more upset, so he went to his mother. She secured two buttons onto the then empty face and patched up the neck, where the seam had torn slightly._

_She had told Jason that the stuffed animal would never watch him in his sleep, never betray him. 'He'll always be there for you, just like me. Neither of us will leave you, we aren't going anywhere.'_

_"Shit. Jason, listen to me right now!" the older man bellowed, kneeling in front of his son so they were at eye level. He didn't know why at the time, but tears pickled in the young boy's eyes. Something didn't feel right. "You can't tell anyone she jumped off- say that she, um, tripped. She tripped and we tried to save her but we couldn't."  
_

_Jason sniffed inwards and wrinkled his nose. "But why? Is she swimming? We need to find her!" he exclaimed, worrying spreading throughout the boy. She had_ just _jumped? Why was his dad panicking, and why were both of them crying? Bud remained silent, pacing around the office._

_"Dad? Dad, what's happening?" he asked innocently, hugging the dinosaur closer to his chest._

_"Damn it, kid, your mom is gone!" he yelled, his voice echoing through the small room. Bud paused for a minute and walked over to his small window. Jason watched as his father stuck his head out of it, watching the water underneath. What did he mean? His mom wasn't gone, she was just in the ocean. She said she'd never leave him, she promised. She and the dinosaur where there forever, he was sure of it._

_Jason started to giggle despite it all, just the thought of his mom leaving was so ridiculous, he couldn't keep it in. His dad was deathly still, his head still hanging out the window. "She's not gone, dad, she's in the ocean," he said, trying to get through to his dad. Why didn't he understand? He wished grownups understood._

_"Dad, we have to go get her!"_

_"When will she come back?"_

_"Can I jump in too, I'll find her!"_

_Bud Dean stood almost motionlessly, the only exception being his foot tapping. He didn't even seem to be listening to Jason._

_"Dad, come on!"_

_"Dad?"_

_"Dad?"_

_"Dad!"_

_And that was it. Bud's head snapped out of the window, his eyes wild with a deep rage. He stormed over to Jason and shoved him into his desk. The boy fell, and a few books toppled onto the group due to impact. "She's fucking dead, you hear me?! Your mother_ is dead! _We can't save her, or bring her back! Go bother someone else, for god's sake!" he screeched, louder than ever._

_Blood pounded to Jason's ears, and he could feel a bump forming on his head. The smaller boy winced in pain, fear running through his veins. He back up, almost underneath his dad's next, scared of what he might do next. He needed to make him understand, let him know that his mom had to be alive. "But mom said she'd always be here! She said that she and my dinosaur weren't going anywhere-"_

_His steps loud, his breathing heavy, Jason's father stomped towards him. He crouched right in the small boy's face and snarled. In a quick swipe, Bud had grabbed the dinosaur's feet, attempting to pry it away from Jason. However, the boy's grip was too tight, and it ending up being a tug of war game of sort._

_They weren't mutually tugging for too long before Jason heard a barely audible tear leak into the room. The boy quickly froze, remember how weak the seams were, and how long ago it had last been repaired._

_But it was too late for the stuffed animal, and Bud was thrown backward as the head and neck separated, with a large ripping sound._

_Jason's eyes widened, as he held only the head of his beloved dinosaur. His dad let his mother jump off the boat, didn't try and save her. His mother, who said she's wasn't going anywhere. He ripped the dinosaur, who he was told wasn't going anywhere. His dad ruined the only two things that were supposed to always be there for him, never supposed to leave. But they were both gone. Bud Dean snatched the head out of his son's shocked hands and walked towards the open window._

_Jason lunged forwards, landing on his hands and knees, as he saw what was happening. "No!" he screamed, one second too late. His dad chucked both pieces out of the window, a swish running through the air. Bud closed the window with a bang._

_Ther boy found himself being yanked upwards, his father's hands on his shoulders. "She's dead, and so is that fucking dinosaur. You will say what I told you, or you'll be next! They're dead!! Chaos killed the dinosaurs, boy, don't you forget."_

_*_

It had been a living nightmare. It was the heat, the worry, the guilt- it all ran to Jd's mind as soon as they stepped into the hospital. Bright fluorescent lights felt as though they would blind him, and the stench of anything besides saltwater was sickening. After stumbling for a minute, Jd continued to trail closely behind Veronica's stretcher.

He didn't know why he expected them to let him stay, but it was what his mind had decided on. He wasn't completely conscious, his mind still playing nasty tricks. For a minute, sometimes he was on the boat again. If he closed his eyes for too long, he was on the island, killing all those animals, planning out the deaths of Kurt and Heather.

But he kept his feet moving until a doctor stopped him with a hand to his chest. He looked old, probably in his mid-50s, and he had a head of greying hair. He wore a long white coat, not unlike the trench coat Jd had once worn on the cruise ship. He looked important, but Jd wasn't impressed. "Excuse me, sir, you can't go past this point. Are you hurt?" he asked, as they wheeled Veronica away.

Jd, in a panic, ignored the man's question. He attempted to make a run for it because he was sure as hell was not leaving Veronica's side. Everything bad that happened to her, it was basically his fault. His dad contributed to the ship's initial crashing- hell, he might have caused it. Jd took her away from the main group, Jd got her pregnant at seventeen, Jd put her life in danger by angering men with guns. He wouldn't let anyone determine what happened to her, he wouldn't let anyone touch her without him there. They were doctors, they probably knew what they were doing- but he didn't trust them. He didn't trust anyone with Veronica in their hands, especially not vulnerable like she was now.

Jd didn't make it a foot before the doctor grabbed his wrist and spun him around. "I need a stretcher over here! Sir, please stay calm, your friend will be alright, but we're going to have to take her away-"

Jd saw red.

Then, ironically enough, he saw it again, this time on his knuckles. The doctor clutched his nose in front of him, blood spewing out. Jd quickly seized the opportunity, and sprinted to Veronica's stretcher, leaving behind the doctor and his yelp of pain. 

He successfully made it over and stopped the wheeling. The two nurses and surgeons that held the stretcher were quite confused, but their words went right through his head. "Ronnie, hey," he said, voices yelling and tugging at him. JD held his ground and stood firm, grabbing Veronica's face in his hand. "Ronnie, it'll be ok! I won't let them hurt you- I won't! You're safe, you're safe- no more! No more!" 

Jd repeated 'no more' countless times as a police officer dragged him away. He kicked and screamed, thrashed and wailed his arms, desperately trying to get away from the officer and get back to Veronica. He saw them taking her away-and he lost it. Hot tears ran down his cheeks, and his throat burned raw from the screaming. He managed to get another hit in- this time directed at one of the four police currently holding him down- before a needle made its way into his waist.

And he was gone.

*

Heather McNamara had felt a lot of emotions in the past few hours. Sadness, regret, fear, pain. But as Officer Higgens walked out of her room, she felt proud. At first, she was conflicted. Jd saved her from the island, technically, even if the way was messed up. Plus, she didn't think he was an inherently bad person.

It all came down to Veronica, really. Mac owed Veronica majorly and felt extreme guilt for all she put her through. The least she could do was try and save the girl from herself, right? The only way to do that was let the world know about Jd. Veronica said she loved him, sure, but couldn't it be manipulation? Jd clearly practiced that often, and though he seemed excessively in love in Veronica, she didn't see him above that.

It probably wasn't manipulation- but that didn't mean he wasn't a danger to her. Apparently, Jd had punched a doctor in the nose to get to Veronica, then punched an officer in the eye when they tried to restrain him. Mac hadn't felt bad when they told her he ended up sedated. He was obsessed with her, and her him, but to a less extreme. Jd was violent, and they all knew that.

Flashbacks filled Mac's first night at the hospital. Originally, she hadn't been able to sleep, she was too worried about H and Heather. But when the heavy hospital pain relievers finally kicked in, she was out cold.

The entire night was one long nightmare. First, it was the feeling in her stomach when a crewmate screamed that there were no lifeboats or lifejackets. Next, it was H's nails in her arm, clinging as they felt the boat go down, knowing their fate. The icy death of the water was always present, alongside the warmth of H's arm against her's slowly fading away.

She dreamed of the first few nights, a hell on earth. Her head had hit something on the way down, and she had been unconscious for many nights. It hurt to blink. Next, she saw Veronica's eyes, filled with tears, as Jd and Kurt bashed each other's skulls in. She saw herself laughing along with the other Heathers as Veronica limped away, her shirt torn and reputation torn up by Kurt.

She saw the markings on the trees, leading her to her former friends. She saw the wildness in Jd's eyes as he convinced her to not tell Veronica of his plan. She saw the rickety boat in progress, Veronica's tears as she screamed at the two.

Every waking moment, Mac saw her and H's last interaction. Mac told her she was beautiful, and that she loved her. Then she ran.

She could have taken her with them.

If H was never found, Mac would... she didn't know what she would do, but it wouldn't be pretty.

She dreamed of the slow and agonizing wave pattern that the boat swayed in. How Veronica rocked back and forth, not a word uttering from her mouth. How she broke down when she finally accepted her position and her pregnancy. How once Veronica was asleep, Jd let her go and cried. He never knew Mac saw, and she would never tell. But she saw him bow in his, as he quietly sniffed, facing away from them.

He never showed himself vulnerable. At least not in front of Mac. Maybe that was what was wrong with him- maybe that's what made him a danger to Veronica. He always needed to play the hero, to protect her. And though that might be the way he showed his love- it was wearing the smaller girl down. And it would eventually get her, and maybe him, too, very hurt. So when they asked about Jd, Mac told all.

She told them his plan to kill Kurt and Heather. She left out convenient parts of the story, the ones that would villainize her, but she mainly stayed honest. She explained the conflict between Kurt's father and Jd, and why they had to leave. A part of her felt like a snitch- the other felt like a hero.

She didn't know which part to trust.

*

Heather Duke clutched her knees to her chest and watched a horrendous scene unfold. Kurt's father had his gun, and it was pointed at none other than his beloved son. 

"You had the chance to kill him, and you let that little shit go!!! He killed you and your mother, Kurt!!!" he screamed, his eyes wild, his hair sticking up in a million positions. He looked a picture-perfect mad-man, something out of a horror movie. 

"I'm alive dad, why don't you see that?! I'm your son, and I'm right here!" Kurt screamed, daring to step closer to his insane father, H winced and saw Heather visibly clench her jaw tighter. The two girls were hiding behind one of their shelters, which was near a point of collapsing. Ram was standing close to Kurt, his eyes angry and his arms crossed. The other two men stood a good distance away, silently observing the fight.

"You aren't, you aren't!!!" he bellowed, stepping so close to Kurt, the gun was poking his forehead. H almost stood, almost yelled, but was grabbed down by Heather. The sun was setting, and a bright red light covered the scene. "You're my imagination- just like before! If you were my son, where is Jd?"

Kurt stumbled backward, holding his hands up in a 'don't shoot' position. "What does that have to do with anything? None of us saw them leave, you're going insane!!!" he screamed, his entire face turning as red as the burning flames.

Kurt hadn't seen them leave, but someone did. H cupped a hand over her mouth when she processed- she let them leave, she let them die. Not only that- she told mac to run. She encouraged, practically forced the girl she loved to ride on a rickety raft that eventually led to her death. H killed Mac, she killed her.

Fuck, how do you deal with that? With knowing you were the downfall of someone so beautiful's life?

Can you live with that?

Should she live with that?

Did she even deserve to live?

No.

"I saw them leave."

In a clear, controlled voice, that had no reflection of her inner battle, H confessed the truth.

"I saw them leave on that boat, and I told her to run. I told her to leave."

All eyes on her. No one moved, except for Kurt's dad, who lowered his gun. Heather turned to her abruptly, her expression a mixture of shock, fear, and confusion. "Why would you tell her that?" she whispered, her voice breaking on the last word. Why had she? Why had she?!

"You said you would kill her."

"I was fucking with you, I wouldn't do that!!" 

Silence had never been so painful. Usually, it was the words that stung. The words that cut deep, leaving scars permanently on H's heart. But the ever-growing silence between the survivors thickened, and it rocked H to the core. "YOU SAID YOU WOULD KILL HER!!!"

Her hand whipped quickly, making contact with Heather's cheek. She knew as soon as it happened, it was over. Not because Heather would kill her, not because H felt guilty. But because she didn't deserve to live, not when she caused Mac to die.

Had she killed her best friend? At the time, she thought she was saving her from Heather- but was she? Did she ever truly believe that Heather would kill Mac and Veronica? Sure, she was angry, and no one ever got away with angering the demon queen. But would she resort to murder? There wasn't much else she could do on the small island- so it made perfect sense at the time. But now, as the intensity of her situation sunk in, she wasn't sure.

Mac was dead. 

Did H deserve to die too?

Would Mac want that?

Of course not. The nicest Heather, Mac saw the good before the bad in everyone. She somehow loved H, even when she didn't love herself. A small breeze blew past the group, as the girl made her final decision. Mac would want her to live, so her dying would just be a completely selfish act.

But she would be selfish if it meant she could see her again, just one last time. Even if Mac ends up in Heaven while she ends up in Hell.

"I let your precious fucking Jd die, so let me have it! I'll be your FUCKING REVENGE!!!" she yelled, standing up from her kneeled position. H's hair was covering her eyes, yet she could see perfectly. She knew what needed to happen. She needed to serve her punishment for her sins, a deed only the devil and God could carry out. She needed to be revenge.

And so she was.

And so she is.

That last thing H felt before darkness was heat spreading throughout her chest. 

She heard two things before it went dark.

She heard Heather's screams.

And she heard the small buzz of a helicopter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me for this one, we don't know of H is dead or alive!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it, thanks for reading!


	18. Possibilites

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in 20 minutes oops

Veronica carefully picked at the food tray in front of her, completely uninterested. It seemed as though being on the boat and the island had shrunk her stomach, and now she just had no drive to eat ( a strange symptom for a pregnant girl). Besides, the practically plastic mac and cheese and overly shiny apple weren’t too appealing anyway.

  
  
  


The girl was just about to try and throw it into the trashcan halfway across the room (a difficult feat, but one she would attempt nonetheless) when her nurse entered the room. She had chosen to rename Heather, for the same name being repeated tended to stir confusion in her already frazzled mind. She now referred to the tall redhead as Wat, an homage to Heather McNamara’s nickname. Heather the nurse’s last name was Watson, so to create a nickname, she shortened it just as they had Heather McNamara’s.

  
  
  


Mac had been the only person to visit the past two days she was confined to bed. She brought stories of the outside world and snacks that the doctors wouldn’t allow. Veronica’s parents couldn’t afford a flight from Ohio to Florida, so driving it was. That was only 17 hours, though, so if they truly were dying to see her, they would’ve been in Florida before she woke up. But there were ‘car issues’, her dad’s job, and ‘traffic’, so they wouldn’t be at the hospital for another week.

  
  
  


Veronica knew why they really weren’t there. They were disappointed. The doctors contacted them about her medical situation- dehydration, intense malnutrition, an unhealed broken leg, and an at risk pregnancy. 

  
  
  


An at risk pregnancy that she didn’t understand. She told them not to tell her anything without Jd there, but due to their lack of marital legal binding, they denied her request. In short, she hadn’t been moving, eating, drinking water- which, to no one’s surprise, took a massive toll on the child. In addition, there was some other problem going on in her where she was, to quote Wat, ‘kind of being split into two’. To illustrate- the baby was too big, Veronica was too small.

  
  
  


She begged everyday for them to let Jd see her. She knew what had happened- as sworn to secrecy mac was, she couldn’t resist Veronica’s pleading, and she gave in. Jd attacked a doctor and a cop, but could they blame him. He was delirious, physically and mentally sick, just like all of them. They were the fools for not putting him in a stretcher to begin with.

  
  


Didn’t he, as the father, have some sort of legal rights and obligations to know what was happening with her? What if he had some genetic disease that he need to tell the doctors about, but they never gave him a chance? A million thoughts and anxieties whirled through Veronica’s head, a hurricane of emotions and grief. Guilt and sadness were eating her up like a full course meal- and she just sat and let it happen. 

  
  
  


“Veronica? You have a visitor,” Wat quietly said, a soft smile on her face. Veronica kind of wanted to punch it off. 

  
  
  


She sighed, leaning back into a pillow. “Mac? Yeah, let her in,” she said, barely looking at the door. It was sort of a drill now, having Wat ask if Mac can come in, and Veronica quickly approving.

  
  
  


“No, it’s not Mac. Ms. Dunnstock, she says she’s here from Ohio, is here to see you,” Wat said as she made her way towards the door. “I’ll let you two catch up,” she commented, before leaving and holding the door open for none other than Martha Dunnstock.

  
  
  


Veronica let out a shallow gasp, and lt a hand whip to her mouth. It may have been overdramatic, but she had an idea in her head that Martha hated her. Just like her parents probably did, and the rest of Sherwood (excluding Mac). But here her friend was, tears in her eyes, looking like someone had just saved her puppy from drowning.

  
  
  


“Veronica!” she exclaimed, running towards her friend. Martha had clearly been filled with worry for the past few days if her appearance said anything at all. She still wore a pink unicorn sweatshirt, but it was uneven a practically falling off of her. Her hair was up in a very,  _ very  _ messy bun, as opposed to her usual tidy half-up half-down style. She wore no makeup, which wasn’t out of the ordinary, but this time it was especially noticeable. Dark circles and grey lips plagued her face, a painting of uncertainty and doubt. It was tragically beautiful.

  
  
  


The girl in front attempted a grin but barely was bale to offer Martha a weak smile. Her friend seemed to understand, though, and quickly ran to her bed. Kneeling next to her like Veronica at church, or Heather Chandler on weekends, Martha enveloped Veronica in a huge hug.

  
  
  


Pain shot from her sides, but she didn’t let Martha know. It felt far too good, finally having pure physical contact. Sure, Mac had hugged her, but it felt reserved. They both knew they’d rather be hugging someone else. For mac it was H, and for Veronica, it had been Jd- but she wouldn’t sacrifice Martha for the world. Friendship was just like that, sometimes.

  
  
  


“Oh my gosh, I don’t even know what to say- Veronica, you have no idea how glad I am you’re here. I thought you were gone!” she sobbed as she pulled away, tears running down her face, broken like porcelain. “Everyone told me you were gone.”

  
  
  


Veronica put on a brave face, as always. “I’m here. I didn’t think you’d visit,” she said, rubbing the back of her neck with a hand. It was true, she expected Martha to leave her completely alone, despite knowing that that was never something her best friend would do. After all, Veronica had been shitty to her the past two months or so before the cruise, ditched her for fake friends who never actually cared about her.

  
  
  


Martha just laughed. “I’d never leave you alone. Oh my gosh, I didn’t even ask! How are you feeling, are you ok? What happened? Can you tell me the story?” she requested, concern written on her face.

  
  
  


Veronica smiled, nodded, and sighed. “Um, we were on this cruise thing- me and the Heathers-  when it crashed. Something to do with the repairman for the engine, who was Jd’s dad, that’s an important detail. I was pulled onto an island by this guy named Kurt, where the Heathers, Jd, and Kurt’s friend Ram all were. My leg had a huge gash, and I couldn’t walk. It was broken, and it never really healed. We made shelters, fires, found food- we basically did all we needed to survive. Then one day I woke up with my shirt ripped off and Kurt on top of me, well, off of me at that point. He and Jd had gotten into a fight about it. So then Kurt made up some lies, Heather ripped my shirt, even more, I ran into the woods. Jd followed. We made a separate camp there, and that’s when…  _ this  _ happened,” Veronica said, motioning her hand over her baby bump. 

  
  
  


“I didn't realize it at first though, so I was just throwing up. Jd didn’t want to leave the island, I did. That’s when mac showed up, and she told me she would help us leave. Oh, also, Jd told me there were more survivors. Heather’s dad, Kurt’s dad, and Ram’s dad were all on the island too, and they had guns. They had it out for Jd since his dad crashed th ship and killed their family, so they were going to kill him and us. Also, heather was mad at me for abandoning her, so she planned to kill us too. Basically, i was pregnant, sick, and everyone on the island excluding two people wanted me dead.”

  
  


Martha shook her head. “I can’t even… that’s horrible, Ronnie!” she exclaimed, more tears leaking from her eyes. Martha always had been a crier.

  
  


Veronica nodded. “Yep. So then the dads were about to track us down, and so was Heather, so we made a raft. It kind of sucked, but it was enough to get us off the ocean. That’s when I found out I was pregnant. We were at sea for… for a really long time. I think I went insane, and maybe I still am. I didn’t eat or drink much, none of us did. Eventually, a boat came by to save us, and I passed out. I woke up here.”

  
  
  


The two friends said nothing as Martha absorbed the story, and Veronica relieved it. Sharp visions of the dark menacing sea, of Kurt’s sneering face, of blood from her leg. Martha continued to hug her and cry some more, but now Veronica was lost to the flashbacks.

*

_Rough waters slammed against the boat in a rhythmic pattern, crashing, crashing, crashing._

_Veronica pretending to be asleep on Jd's lap, her act held up nicely._

_Mac was screaming, yelling at Jd to help her gain control of the boat. The other girl slid off of Jd's lap and opened her eyes. Veronica offered to help._

_Like always, she was denied._

_Jd and mac struggled to fight the current, to not move backward in the direction of the island. Veronica paddled with her hands, aware that she wasn't helping, that no progress was being made. She didn't care._

_There was fighting. Mac thought they would capsize, Jd thought they were in danger of lightning. The rain was cold, the thunder loud. Veronica closed her eyes, convinced herself she was asleep._

_She begged them to let her help. Mac gave hr a paddle. Jd protested, but gave in. Veronica put all of her built up might into each pull._

_The storm subsided after a torturous hour or two, leaving only heavy rain. With the thunder and lightening gone, electricity and flames sparked between Jd and Mac._

_He was made at her for giving her a paddle._

_As if she didn't need to carry her weight._

_She was mad at him for not letting Veronica help._

_As if she couldn't be mad at him herself._

_Thick and heavy droplets splashed onto Veronica's shoulders, as she curled up and forgot about the world. Mac yelled over the splashing sound of rain drops colliding with the sea, her voice raw and cruel. Jd returned her tone._

_One touch to his shoulder and his voice was soft again._

_And she pretended to sleep again. This time, he couldn't have believed it._

*

"Hello, I'd like to speak to a Mr. Jaosn Dean." A police officer gently entered the boy's room, not even bothering to knock. Jd groaned in protest.

"Here to arrest me? I'm mentally ill, remember? It's not legal, _officer,_ " he sneered, hatred pouring into every word. "Or are you here to release me from my white-clad prison so I can see my girlfriend?"

  
  


The police officer gave Jd a few pitiful shakes of his head before sitting himself down on a chair near Jd's bed. The boy didn't look like he was a patient, but rather a visitor. He sat in a t-shirt and jeans atop the covers, reading a book cross-legged. The officer had interrupted precious reading time. "Jason, I'm here to talk to you about two very serious topics, I need you to listen very closely to everything I'm about to say."

Jd grinned and inserted a hospital card he used as a bookmark, closing the boy and laying it by his feet. "What's up, officer?"

"I have spoken with some doctors, and due to a force policy, I will be delivering you an update on your... child. As you know, one police officer must still be in the room with you at all times when a doctor is present, out of concern for their safety. What I'm about to tell you may be shocking and may cause another outburst, which is why it must be handled by a trained professional."

  
Jd's grin fell. "Is it Veronica? Is she ok? Just spit it out," he pleaded, panic slowly creeping into his voice and expression.

"Due to Ms. Sawyer being highly malnourished and underweight, it is highly unlikely that, if she chooses to carry the baby to term, she will survive," he stated, his eyes cold, his mouth in a completely straight line. Jd shook his head and gave a weak smile.

"That's not right- she's fine! Mac told me that she was fine..." he said, a small chuckle lacking any sort of humor slipped from his lips.

The cop shook his head again, and Jd's heart fell to his feet. "I am also legally required to tell you that the say in whether Ms. Sawyer chooses to terminate the pregnancy or carry it to term, due to your marital status."

Jd bit his lip and grabbed his forehead for some sort of support. It was either Veronica or their baby. Jd knew exactly who he would pick- without a doubt, Veronica. But he also remembered what she had told him on the boat when they never thought they would survive. How he needed to take care of the kid once she was gone. How she was alive only to give birth, and then she would let herself leave. leave the earth, leaving her body, leave Jd. Dry sobs narrowly escaped his mouth.

"You can't let her do that, she'll choose the baby, but for the wrong reasons! She's suicidal, can't you prevent her from- from giving herself up if it's mental-"

The officer cut Jd off by holding his hand out. "Jason, as I said, you have no choice in the matter. This is only a subject I was told to pass on, if you have any questions about the legality, you may contact a lawyer. If you have any medical questions, you may ask your doctor. I have some more news to deliver, some that you might find equally as troubling."

Jd wiped a tear from his eye and held back another sob. _What could possibly be as 'troubling' as this?_ "What?" he harshly snapped, unable to even look at the cop.

"Your dad, Bud Dean, has been found. Alive."

*

A letter lay on Heather McNamara's bedside table as she slept, quickly shifting in the breeze. It would remain unopen until she wake.

_Dear Heather,_

_Hello Heather, I'm dreadfully sorry that your father and I have not spoken to you face to face yet. We simply could not bear it- and though that is not fair to you, it is the truth. We had to get away for a day or two, to think everything through. In addition, your father has work in Miami, so we will have to stay there for a few days before coming to visit. Again, dreadfully sorry._

_The doctors delivered us some wonderful news yesterday. Your friends, Heather and Heather, have been found on the island. There were also two boys and three men found, all of whom were alive and almost well._

_The problem comes with your friend Heather Duke. She was found on the island with two gunshot wounds from one of the three men. One bullet in her shoulder, one right below her rib. Though she hadn't lost much blood, the wound was already infected when the helicopter flew her and the rest of the survivors to the nearest hospital in Mexico._

_We know not her condition, only that it is critical. Her mother called me yesterday to inform me of it all- those poor parents._

_Heather Chandler is doing well, she sustained very minor injuries but is otherwise alright. The same is to be assumed for the other survivors, though I was not in contact with any of their relatives._

_I have been in contact with Veronica's mother and I heard the awful news. Teen pregnancy is an awfully disgraceful thing, a thing I never would have expected your friend to fall into. She always seemed so nice. I doubt there will be college in her future, or the awful boy's._

_I hope you are doing well, I know about your concussion and malnourishment. Your father and I will pray for you from the beach!_

_Love Always,_

_Mom♡_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They've all been found! Yay everyone, expect for Duke and Bud... they might be in some trouble
> 
> Thanks again for reading xx


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